Personal Space

Stop the presses: C. and I went out to a movie the other night. I KNOW!! In the theatre and everything! We go to the movies so rarely that we barely recognized a single Oscar nominee. This is because a) movies either start too early or too late for us (gotta get the kids fed but can’t stay awake past 11 pm) or b) we can’t agree on one.

But we both wanted to see “Date Night” with Tina Fey and Steve Carell, and we arranged for a kind and generous neighbor to come over after the baby was in bed. I highly suggest trading childcare with a friend if you can swing it. Because there’s nothing I hate more than paying a sitter to sit and watch TV after all the hard work is done!

I really enjoyed the movie. It was exactly what I look for in date-night entertainment. I hate how the trailers give away most of the movie these days, but there were still some surprises. One of the funniest parts to me was when T.Fey’s character, a harried working mom, reveals her “fantasy” -- eating lunch by herself in a quiet room. Every mother I know can relate to that!

That’s one of the biggest adjustments to becoming a mom, I think. All of a sudden you are never, ever alone anymore. Not even in the bathroom. If you work, commute, or have a sitter, you might get a few solo moments in your day, but mostly likely you spend that time trying to “get stuff done” -- phone calls, errands, basic personal hygiene. (BTW, I have seen a woman flossing her teeth at 55 mph.)

My husband and I have an ongoing argument about his 2-hour daily commute. On the one hand, I know from experience that stressful rush-hour traffic is no picnic, but on the other hand? How awesome would it be to sit in a quiet, air-conditioned place drinking your coffee and listening to whatever you want on the stereo without complaint from the peanut gallery in the backseat?

A few months after C. and I first started dating, he moved an hour away for a job. Shortly after, I lost my job and moved to the same city. Lots of people thought it would have made sense for us to move in together. Nope, not for me. First of all, I wasn’t sure about this guy yet. And second of all, I was finally making enough money to not have roommates. Damn straight I was looking forward to that!

The funny part is I ended up renting an apartment directly downstairs from C. I was something like Apt. #526 and he was #527. In the evenings after work we’d usually eat dinner together and hang out. But then if I wanted to go to bed early or he wanted to watch some game I wasn’t interested in, I’d go back downstairs. I didn’t even have to put shoes on. It was awesome. It was like all the benefits of living together without the hassles of someone else’s dirty dishes in the sink or having to split the phone bill.

So, yeah. I sometimes miss having my own personal space. But every now and then I get an unexpected gift -- like today, when both boys are napping at the same time (!!) and I have a few quiet moments to myself. And I enjoy it all the more because these moments are as rare as a free babysitter.

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