Easter at the ER

Last week, my husband C. discovered he had to go out of town unexpectedly. For 4 days. Over a holiday weekend. When Miles was out of school. And we had invited guests for Easter brunch. In spite of this, I suppressed toned down my first reaction, which was panic and dread.

In fact, things started out swimmingly. I took both kids to the zoo (by myself!), Miles and I dyed Easter eggs (fun!), picked flowers for the table (festive!), and made cupcakes with 3 (3!) different colors of pastel frosting. We went to the playground, the farmers market, and the neighbors’ for dinner. We were FINE without C. GREAT, even. Look at me, I’m Supermom! I don’t need no stinkin’ husband!

(Imagine the theme song from “Jaws” starts playing now.)

Then I noticed Riley’s head felt a little warm. And his cheeks looked red. I took his temperature and it was 102.9. Uh, oh. By the time I got him some Tylenol, a bath, and in bed along with his brother, I was exhausted. And I hadn’t even cleaned up the house yet, put together the kids’ Easter baskets, picked out their church clothes, or prepared the French toast casserole for tomorrow when my brother and his family were coming. Ugh. Now’s about the time another parent would come in handy.

The next morning, Riley woke up at 6:30, miserable. Flushed, feverish, nose crusted with snot. Oh, boy. Church was out. Again, had there been 2 parents, one of us could have stayed home with the baby. I don’t even know if we can show our faces at Miles’ (Christian) school after not going to church ON EASTER. Oh, well, I guess God will understand.

I called my brother right away. After much deliberation, they decided to come anyway with their 2 kids. The older kids are in school and daycare and probably teeming with germs at all times anyway. Well, thank goodness they DID come because when Riley woke up from his nap he was burning up. When his temperature read 104, I started to panic. I called the pediatrician, who said to take him to the ER.

At this point I was mildly hysterical and called C. in tears. “Don’t worry,” he said. “He’ll be fine.” The hospital staff, God bless them, were friendly and efficient. They got us right into an exam room and a nurse took the baby’s temp again (103.8) and sucked out his snot with a hospital-grade snot-sucking machine. Riley took this about as well as someone having their face plunged into hot lava.

I tried to distract him with a rattle, which he promptly smashed in half. If you’ve ever wondered what’s inside those cheap, painted wooden rattles you get for $1 at Target, the answer is dozens of tiny metal balls. Now all over the hospital floor.

So then the doctor comes in, all calm and soft-spoken, and says, “Fevers are our friends. It’s the body’s way of fighting off infection. They can go as high as they need to --103, 104, 105. Treat the child, not the fever.” I almost snapped, “Listen, Jack Handey in clogs: my baby is BURNING UP and I am HOME ALONE with 2 KIDS for 4 DAYS!!”

I calmed down a little after the tests came back negative for flu and RSV, and they decided he just had an ear infection and prescribed antibiotics and the correct dose of Motrin for his weight and let us go home. By this time, 3 hours had passed.

Thank God my brother and SIL were there to take care of Miles. Thank God Riley did not have some horrible infectious disease that he’d passed on to everyone else. Thank God this is my second baby and I have built up my tolerance for seeing my child sick and in pain. Thank God for red wine and Easter candy to help soothe my nerves.

And that, people, is Murphy’s law for moms. The one weekend Dad goes away, all hell will break loose. And if you ever find yourself smugly thinking you’re Supermom? Get ready. That’s the “Jaws” theme song beginning to play...

P.S. Also, I forgot to mention the garbage disposal broke right before our brunch guests arrived.

FLICKS O’ THE WEEK: Can you believe I rented 3 movies to watch while C. was away? “Have You Heard About the Morgans?”; “The September Issue”; and “Coco Before Chanel.” Know how many I’ve watched so far? Half of ONE.