The Myth of the TV Baby

Have you seen the show “Accidentally On Purpose”? It’s kind of loosely based on the premise of the movie “Knocked Up” -- a 30-something single career woman gets pregnant during a one-night stand with a less-than-perfect guy. Hilarity ensues. Only in the case of this show, it doesn’t.

I keep forcing myself to watch it now and then because it’s a show I SHOULD be interested in. It’s about pregnancy and babies, for pete’s sake! It stars the adorable Jenna Elfman. She’s even a writer! What’s not to like?

It’s got its moments, I suppose, but scenes like the one in last night’s episode really turn me off. These slacker dudes are fantasizing about a hot baby nurse and breastfeeding. Ew. Anyone who’s ever witnessed cracked nipples, engorged or leaky boobs, nursing bras, etc. knows there’s NOTHING sexy about breastfeeding. What is it with guys and boobs?

I watch plenty of other shows largely because they feature babies. (You’d think I’d want escapism in my entertainment, but you’d be wrong. Realism all the way. Only funnier and prettier than my life, of course.) I LOVE “Modern Family,” and I feel baby Lily gets way too little screen time. In fact, I frequently annoy my husband by saying, “Where’s the baby? Both the parents are out and there was no mention of a babysitter. Where is she?!” Yes, I want it spelled out!

On “Cougar Town” it bugs me no end that the next door neighbors have a baby that only occasionally makes an appearance. The kid looks to be about 7 or 8 mos. old, maybe. He can’t be sleeping ALL the time. They’ve never mentioned a sitter or nanny, and have maybe once shown a baby monitor. The mother, Ellie, is always taking naps and having lunch and playing tennis, no baby in sight, never glancing at her watch.

Come on, people!! Get real. I want calls from the sitter, emergency trips to the pediatrician, even the stray spit-up stained shirt. I want to see diaper boxes, bottles, wipes on every counter, binkies and blankies everywhere. I want to hear the adults talking about teething, asking whether he’s started crawling yet, what his first word was. SOMETHING to indicate there’s a baby around!

Life does not simply go on as usual once a baby comes along, with the tot making only the occasional appearance to coo or smile. You don’t get to go back to who you were before, just with a snuggly little accessory on the side that conveniently shows up every few episodes. No way, sister.

Of course, it goes both ways. One of the reasons I stopped watching “Parenthood” was that it was a little TOO real, and too depressing. The same with the movie, “Motherhood.” Too close to home to qualify as entertainment. Got my own dramas, thanks.

What do you guys think? What are some of your favorite mom-related shows and movies?