As I’ve discussed here before, I have difficulty just going with the flow. It’s taken me years to adjust from efficiently checking things off my daily to-do list to living in a world in which nothing is ever truly done. By the time you change one diaper, the next is filling up already. By the time you finish cleaning up after a meal, it’s time to start the next one. By the time you’ve picked up all the toys, they’ve already been dumped out again. By the time you finish all the laundry ... oh wait, that never happens.
The point is, raising kids is largely a Sisyphean task. (That’s right, I have a liberal arts degree.) Or like Groundhog Day; choose your own analogy.
That could be why on the weekends, I turn into a bit of a taskmaster. (My husband might choose a different word.) We have 2 adults around? Quick! You run to Home Depot for the deck stain and I’ll wrap the present for the birthday party this afternoon. Then when you get home I’ll do the grocery shopping and get gas. Then we’ll switch, and you take that one for his haircut while I feed this one lunch. The baby just went down for his nap -- go! GO!!
If we do not accomplish at least 1 major home improvement project per weekend, I consider it a failure. If anyone is idle for more than 30 min., I start to sweat. There are closets to be cleaned out! Scooters to ride! Meals to plan! Get busy, people! Is it any wonder my husband cherishes his Monday morning commute into work? ;)
Anyway, the Saturday C. was away I woke up and realized nothing was going to get accomplished anyway, so I might as well relax and enjoy the day. And I did. With no school or sitter to get to, we could lounge around in our PJs as long as we liked. Since it was Easter weekend, we dyed eggs, made cupcakes, and did some coloring.
When we finally ventured out, we took a leisurely stroll to the market, stopping to pick flowers along the way. We bought a cookie, stopped at the playground, and paid no attention to the clock.
I can’t tell you what a relief it was to not be constantly checking my watch, thinking, “Preschool pickup’s in 22 min. We’ve got to get home for lunch by 12:30. I have 40 min. to get in and out of the supermarket, pharmacy, and Babies R Us. C.’s already half an hour late getting home and it’s bath night!”
This otherwise unremarkable Saturday was so remarkable because it was stress-free. Isn’t that great? Or is it a sad commentary on my Type-A personality? In any case, I should get points for noticing and appreciating this, right? Great. Now I’ve got to go accomplish something concrete before it kills me.
LINK O’ THE WEEK: One of my new favorite bloggers and writer moms, Angie Mizzell, has launched a new site, awesomely titled NotSoSupermom.com. It’s about keeping it real and supporting each other. Check it out. And I’m not just saying that because I’m her first Not So Supermom of the Week.
7 comments:
Good for you! I need to do this, too.
That is great, it's a hard skill to learn (or allow ourselves to use). I'm still working on it myself! Here's to enjoying more time with the kids and less worrying about the to-do lists!
Hi Abigail, I found your site via Christina Katz, and am so glad I did. I love it. I'm a working writer mommy myself and used to be much like you sound in this post. I always had to be doing something or I thought the world would end. Fortunately, I've conquered that bad habit, (my kids are now 11 and almost 13), and, even more fortunate, the hubby hasn't. So while he works on all those projects, I either play with the boys or write. It's so much nicer this way! Here's hoping one day you'll throw the mop out too. ;)
I followed you over from notsosupermoms. I must say that I concur! I'm the same way on the weekends. It drives me nuts to just sit around doing nothing. I think that's because my week is so busy that I've forgotten how!
I enjoy days like that... no, I live for them. I was actually inspired by all your weekend productivity. I get so tired and almost dizzy by all the stuff to do. I have to muster up a great deal of adrenaline to accomplish that much. I tend to work in bursts, then I crash. So honored to have you as my first Not So Supermom. I appreciate you for taking the time!
hi abigail! i found your site via the writer mama, and you have such an impressive resume. i am a young, 20-something who is trying to get into freelance, and i saw you had submitted to SELF. i couldn't find your e-mail anywhere, but i would love to perhaps pick your brain a bit about how to go about this. i look forward to reading more, and i hope to chat with you soon!
holly
Ugh! I have a love/hate relationship with weekends because I plan too much, have unrealistic expectations of what we can actually do, and then sink into disappointment and what my husband and I call "The Sunday Blahs".
Thank you for the reminder that I need to move past my disappointment that things aren't going to get accomplished and just enjoy whatever the day brings.
Your "Lazy Saturday" sounds absolutely perfect.
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