46 Inches of Fun

How ridiculous is this? Inside this box is a television approximately 9 times the size of my baby. It’s like he’s sitting in front of a movie screen. Does anyone really NEED a TV that big? If you ask my husband, the answer is “Hell, yes!”

He’s been wanting a flat-screen TV for years. He’s researched them relentlessly, pored over back issues of Consumer Reports, and memorized the user reviews on Amazon.com. Why he never pulled the trigger, I don’t know. Maybe because we always had a more pressing need come up, like diapers or tuition?

Anyway, this Christmas a few of our family members chipped in to help us him get the TV. We actually got into a heated debate when my parents were here over how big was too big. It should be obvious who was on the side of “the bigger the better.” While my mom and I argued that just because a screen the size of a Buick only costs $100 more, doesn’t mean you should get it. I mean, if I wanted to look at George Clooney’s pores in actual size, I’d go to the movies.

Except we rarely do anymore now that we have 2 little ones at home. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve become a huge TV addict since I had kids. So now at least I can watch all that trash on a good TV, right?

Well, you and I both know what’s going to happen. “Ugly Betty” and “Design on a Dime” will never light up that 46-in. screen. It’s going to be nonstop football and basketball and baseball and God knows what other sports. I think my husband would even watch curling on a flat-screen TV.

Of course, he’ll have to duke it out with our son first. I can just see them going head-to-head, locked in combat over the remote:

“I wanna watch Diego!”

“But the Patriots are on.”

“No Patriots, I want Wall-E!!”

Actually, I know exactly how my husband will solve that problem. The other day I walked into the family room to find C. watching the game on the big TV, Miles watching a movie on the portable DVD player, and the laptop open. Oh, and C. was doing something on his phone. Think we have enough screens for everyone??

I’m not even going to touch the whole debate over whether TV or video games are evil and how much is too much and whether Spongebob is turning kids’ brains into marshmallows. That’s for every parent to decide for themselves. (Although, if you’re anti-TV, get back to me after a couple 12-hour days home alone with a toddler. Or months of sleepless nights with a newborn. Trust me: you will not feel like cracking open “War and Peace.”)

The first order of business, though, will be anchoring this beast to the wall. I’m less concerned with rotting my kids’ brains than with them getting squashed like bugs under a Stonehenge-sized television.

PICKS O’ THE WEEK: I don’t usually like the shows that everyone else likes, but most people agree that “Modern Family” is hilarious. (Bit o’ trivia: Julie Bowen is from Baltimore.) I’m also enjoying “Cougar Town,” “Parks and Recreation,” and “Better Off Ted.” Can’t WAIT till the “Chuck” season premiere on Sunday!