Leisure Time & How to Find It

This weekend was much like an ordinary weekend, except that I did something shocking and unprecedented in the past year: I READ THE PAPER. Sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. And by “paper” I mean the actual newspaper, not the online version, and on the same day it was printed, no less. Of course by “entire” I mean the front page, the arts & travel sections, and the magazine.

And it was in the Washington Post Magazine that I read “The Test of Time,” by Brigid Schulte, in which the reporter – a busy working mom – tries to figure out where her time is going. I’ve included the link, but you may have to register, and given that many of you reading this are also busy working moms you probably don’t have time to read it all anyway.

So here’s the gist: Schulte meets with a so-called “time specialist” who claims that women have 30 hours of leisure time a week. “Oh, really?” says Schulte. “Prove it.” She keeps a time journal for a year and reports back to this guy to show her where all this supposed leisure time is amidst the work deadlines, cupcake baking, homework helping, cleaning, errands, and life in general.

But first – and this is the funny part – she has to track the guy down. The free-wheeling single professor is always off on vacation, at beer festivals and concerts. And this other expert she consults who tells her to slow down? Is single and childless and lives with his parents. Hmm, how DOES he find the time for those daily walks on the beach, I wonder?

But wait, it gets better. The time guy goes through the reporter’s time journal and highlights her leisure time. And do you know what he counts as leisure, people? Exercise, returning e-mails, listening to the news on the radio while getting her kids up for school, taking her son’s bike to the repair shop, and WAITING FOR 2 HRS. FOR A TOW TRUCK. Yes, that’s right. Inhaling exhaust fumes on a median strip is considered “me time.” Never seen that in a Calgon ad, have you?

Now, clearly, this guy’s definition of “leisure time” is suspect. I mean, OK, I’ll give him exercise, even though that’s pretty much mandatory for basic health. And MAYBE listening to the radio or reading the paper, even though as a journalist that could be considered part of your job. But errands? And waiting for a tow truck? Come ON.

In my opinion, true leisure time must meet these criteria:

* Longer than a 10-min. block. Five consecutive days of waiting in the school pick-up line does NOT equal an hour of uninterrupted relaxation.

* Some measure of control or choice involved. For this reason, an extra hour in the waiting room because the dentist is running behind does not count as leisure time.

* Cannot include basic hygiene. I just read another article that encouraged stressed people to take more bathroom breaks. First of all, that would imply that you are alone in the bathroom, which I rarely am. And second, sitting on a toilet – especially a public one – in no way replaces a coffee break on a sunny park bench. However, I will admit that sometimes a 6-minute shower does feel like a spa getaway in my world.

* Must be fun. Returning e-mails = leisure? OK, if you’re corresponding with a friend. But not if you’re telling the PTA you’ll bring a tossed salad to the teacher luncheon. And let’s take cooking. If you ENJOY whipping up a 5-course gourmet meal, then that’s leisure. But churning out 3 meals a day for your picky and ungrateful family because they have to eat is not the same thing.

It’s an interesting discussion, though, I’ll say that. I do agree that most people are WAY too busy these days and that many wear their busyness as a badge of honor. Not me. Do I enjoy being engaged and productive? Yes. Busy and stressed? No thanks.

The article gave me all the encouragement I needed to put on a movie for my son, let the baby play on the floor, and relax with my coffee and the paper. For about five minutes, that is. Then spit-up, snack time, and sibling squabbles were calling me once again. Oh well, my leisure time was nice while it lasted.

TIP O’ THE WEEK: Did you know you don’t have to return e-mails the minute you get them? I know! Shocking but true. For some reason, even though I’ll happily let the phone go to voicemail, I can’t quite wrap my head around this. Maybe because I once worked for an internet company where people would instant-message you to say, “Did you get the e-mail I just sent?”