Does anyone ever really get tired of potty-training posts? Well, too bad! First of all, how could I NOT write about something that’s consumed my life for the past 6.5 mos? And second of all, it provides a goldmine of humorous and horrific material. It would be a CRIME not to share that with all of you lucky people. ;)
So, anyway, remember when all this madness first started? And remember when I quit potty training? Obviously, that was not a permanent solution. So, reluctantly, I plunged back into it once my nerves and bathmats had recovered a bit. And wouldn’t you know it, Miles was almost 100% trained the week before I had the baby. Well, you can guess what happened then. Back to square one. Or maybe square two.
I can honestly tell you that this ordeal has been one of the few times in my 3 years of motherhood that I have felt like a complete and utter failure. We sailed through other potentially rocky transitions, like weaning from the breast, then the bottle, moving from bassinet to crib to big boy bed, and ditching the pacifier. How hard could it be? I thought. (Insert “har-de-har-har” here.)
Now I see that part of the problem is that I have an uncharacteristically high number of mom friends who successfully and painlessly potty trained their children -- boys, even -- at a young age. I refuse to look at the scientific data since it likely will only depress me further, but anecdotal evidence suggests that boys are ready somewhere around 2.5 years old, maybe closer to 3. But I know several parents whose boys were trained right around their second birthday. In most cases, the child himself initiated it.
I’d be tottering around on a walker if I’d waited for Miles to initiate potty training. This is confounding to me, since the kid absolutely INSISTS on doing everything from brushing his teeth to pushing his brother’s stroller by himself. But when it came to the bathroom, no interest.
“Just wait till he’s ready,” well-meaning moms told me. But readiness was another irritatingly vague and elusive concept. Does that mean when he starts showing interest in the toilet? Because he’s been interested in flushing things down it since he was 18 mos. old. Does ready mean when he’s uncomfortable wallowing in his own filth? Because that’s NEVER happened to this day.
Another part of the problem was finding my son’s motivation. (Doesn’t that sound like something you’d hear at acting school? “Find your motivation, Meryl!”) Praise, encouragement, clapping, even joyous singing and dancing didn’t have a lasting effect. (Tori Spelling and her potty dance be damned!) Neither did stickers, charts, candy, books, or toys.
We got more elaborate with our bribes -- but sadly, even the Lightning McQueen scooter didn’t do the trick. We resorted to threats (“We’re not going to the park EVER AGAIN until you go pee!”) and even peer pressure (“CHARLIE uses the potty. OLIVER wears big-boy underpants. Go ahead, show Miles your Cars underwear, sweetie.”) Miles could care less.
Besides being frustrating, potty training in our house became positively dangerous. My mother suffered a minor injury when she fell off the toilet as she was sitting there encouraging Miles to go on his little potty. This caused great hilarity in our family, as you can imagine. Then there was the time Miles was a little too enthusiastic in his approach, and he slipped and fell arm-first into the bowl. Thankfully, before he’d made a deposit. One time he leaned too far forward and narrowly missed chipping a tooth. They just don’t prepare you for this kind of stuff in the parenting books!
I know I’m jinxing myself by saying this, but Miles has made huge potty progress recently. He’s wearing underwear except for naps and nighttime. We’re even leaving the house without diapers. I know, call us crazy! He’s gone from having 4 accidents in one day to none some days.
What’s the secret? None that I can pinpoint, except maybe letting him run around bare-bummed. Less to mess with when he gets the urge, you know what I’m saying? I know we’re not out of the woods yet, but I am pleased to say that maybe my son will not go off to college in Pull-Ups. Fingers crossed.
PICK O’ THE WEEK: We have watched this DVD so many times it’s not even funny. But the “Dirty Diaper Blues” song sure is: Elmo's Potty Time
5/17/09
Underpants: The Final Frontier
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5 comments:
I think some of those moms who claim their 18 month old boy initiated potty training and was trained in a day are full of smoke and illusions (or maybe delusions). I personally know a mom who was so concerned about her child not potty training in 3 days that she didn't want anyone to know she was even attempting it (the only reason I knew is b/c she borrowed my book on it). She really swore me to secrecy - isn't that crazy??
We started potty training my son when he was 2 1/2, at the beginning of December. We are at the same point as you are in that he wears a pull up at quiet time and bedtime. He can go weeks without an accident and then blow it several days in a row with frequent accidents. He'll be three in just a few weeks so I figure he'll eventually outgrow the accidents. And once he goes to preschool I'm sure the peer pressure will help.
I think us moms need to stop being so paranoid about what other people think about certain topics (breast vs bottle, potty training, co-sleeping, etc.). If someone is going to belittle you because you don't live up to their expectations then that's THEIR problem. Long as you're a good parent, that's all that matters!
Hang in there! I know, it is SO hard and irritating as anything to have playdates with your friends' kids who merrily skipped through this transition. Happily, summer is here so maybe he can go bare-bummed in the backyard with the little potty conveniently under a tree. By the way, potty training at 2 just does not happen in our family, either.
Ugh! Potty training is so hard. Sounds like he is really making progress though. YEA!!!! If it makes you feel any better, the second child is usually easier to potty train because he/she wants to be like his older sibling who already goes on the potty. Noah kind of initiated the potty thing on his own. Abby (my first) was a whole different animal. I wish I had that Elmo video for her. Things may have gone smoother. She LOVED Elmo.
Toilet training is not easy! I didn't even bother trying 'early' with my oldest son. I waited until I thought he was ready. I think he had just turned 3 years old. And I have no idea how this happened, but literally, it took one day. He will only do things when HE is ready. So I guess he felt ready! I made a huge chart for him, with stickers, and every time he used the toilet/washed his hands/wore underwear he would get a sticker. I did not think this would work at all, but for some reason, he loved the idea! I thought this was going to be the hardest thing to do, ever, since he is very hard-headed, but as luck would have it, it wasn't that bad for us. At night, sometimes, I'll put a diaper on him... because I don't feel like changing the sheets at 3 a.m., which is something we have had to do a few too many times!
It sounds like you're there, though! And you should be very proud and never feel bad about how you got there, or if it took you longer than some of your friends. Each child moves at their own pace. My almost 4 year old still at night drinks from a bottle! And I'm okay with that... for now!
Potty training my boys was HELL. Absolute, pure hell. About 18 months of "training" (HA! Training signifies they were progressing. HAHAHAHAHA!!!) each. I'd say they were completely potty-trained at, oh, 4? 4 1/2? YIKES.
Potty training was a 4 letter word for me until I had my daughter.
My daughter? She trained in less than a day at age 2, even though I said "she's too young!"
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