I’m sitting in a church parking lot typing this on my laptop. There’s a chai latte, diaper bag, and cell phone (on vibrate), on the seat beside me. My 2.5 mo.-old son is in the backseat, sleeping. FINALLY. I have less than an hour before I have to pick up my older son from preschool and I’m damn sure going to make the most of it!
The thing about being a work-at-home-mom is that oftentimes the “home” part is metaphorical.
Many working moms would still be on maternity leave at this point. But when you’re self-employed -- as I am as a freelance writer and writing instructor -- there’s no such thing as paid maternity leave. Before my first son was born, I sent out an e-mail to all my regular clients telling them I was going to be out of commission for 3 months. I set up an e-mail autoreply. I changed the message on my cell phone. When my son was exactly 3 mos. old, I hired a babysitter and started keeping regular office hours again.
This time around, I did none of these things. I was answering work-related e-mails 2 weeks after my second son was born. I accepted an assignment when he was less than 2 mos. old. I feel like he’s still too young for a sitter, especially since I’m nursing every 2-4 hours, so that leaves me with short, sporadic periods of time to work while the baby’s napping. Hence the laptop and the idling car.
Sometimes it’s frustrating. Just the other day I turned down an assignment that required phone interviews because I couldn’t plan on a specific time when I knew it would be quiet. I’ve known some WAHMs who run out to their garage or parked car to conduct a phone call when necessary. I don’t trust the 2-year-old around his baby brother yet. Besides, MY baby’s cries can be heard for miles.
Sometimes it can also feel like I have no boundaries between my home life and my work life. When I had an office outside the house, which I rented with some other self-employed friends, I was diligent about never bringing work home if I could help it. Now, I dash to the computer to check e-mail several times a day. My personal and professional phone number are one and the same. In the evenings, I sometimes work on the couch next to my husband as he watches TV.
Certainly, in some ways it would be easier to leave and go to work every day, as I did before I had kids. Lots of times when I’m complaining about the stress of being pulled in two directions, people will tell me I should get a “real job” or, conversely, that I should “just be a mom” and stop trying to freelance, too.
But I don’t want to choose. Why should I have to pick one or the other when I can do both? I don’t want to hand over my babies to someone else 40+ hours a week. But I’d go crazy if I didn’t have an outlet besides being a mommy. I feel like I get the best of both worlds this way.
Besides, I think the tides are turning in the work world. I see fewer and fewer moms who are either totally stay-at-home moms OR work 9-5 in an office (or more likely, 8-6). Most are somewhere in between -- they work part time, have a compressed or flexible schedule, or are self-employed.
Right now, being a WAHM is what works for me and my family. I’m a happier person when I get to use my talents, interact with other professionals, and earn an income. On a good day, I’m a happy, balanced person. On a bad day, you’ll find me sitting in a juice-box littered car with coffee and spit-up stains on my shirt, typing frantically on a laptop before my baby wakes up and my preschooler needs to be picked up. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
PIC O’ THE WEEK: Does this paci ring make me look like the Joker?
5/25/09
Life as a WAHM
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10 comments:
love the pic with the paci ring! thanks for continuing to blog!
I really like this post for many reasons. (1) I'm about to have my second baby and hearing that your work/writing didn't fall to the side for a long period of time after your second was born is encouraging for me to hear; I took off several months with my colicky first, but I don't want to do that again this time around, (2) your descriptions of working all over the place & being flexible is so true for me,so I'm glad I'm not the only onewho thrives on a flexible schedule, and (3) you made me realize that I too wouldn't have it any other way! This way is fun, challenging, diverse, and rewarding. Great post :)
Thanks, April & Kimberly! Good luck w/ Baby #2!
Look at how cute your baby is! You're so lucky you get to work from home, as challenging and hard as it may be on some days. You are doing a great job, you know. Even if you have to type from your lap top in the car while your baby is napping! It's a tough balance for all moms, I think - I work full-time in an office, and it has its perks, but it's also sucky that I can't be with my kids for 7 hours during the week. I'm very thankful, though, that my family members (mom, husband, grandmother, mother-in-law) are the ones looking after my little ones. Otherwise, the mommy guilt I'd experience would be incredible.
You're doing a great job. Good luck to you!
Right on, mama!
It can be a crazy life, but I feel very lucky to spend my days with my son and my evenings working outside the home. I'm glad mamas are finding the flexibility and the opportunities to have it both ways. Your students and readers are glad you're making it work, too!
LOVE that pic, btw! ;)
ah, great post. thanks for the encouragement.
Loukia, I often think my work life might look very different if we lived near family willing to help out with childcare. That's a blessing!
I would've never guessed - you seem so organized! Anyway, well said. I'm a WAHM too and love it most of the time. The hardest part is the isolation, I think...I love the flexibility but miss having (non-virtual)colleagues.
This is a really great post for me to be reading right now -- I'm a sahm for now with my four month old. When I was pregnant I thought I would go back to work, or at least go back part time when my daughter was about 4 or 5 months old and now I know that I absolutely cannot. She nurses every 2 hours AT LEAST and I don't want that relationship to falter.
I've been reading more and more into being self employed and about doing freelancing so I hope this will happen -- thank you for the inspiration!
I can sooo relate to this. My son is now 2 and a half and I have been a WAHM since he turned 1, also freelance writing. I feel that I am only now getting to grips with creating the right balance between "home" and "work" but it has been tough. That said I would not change it for the world - I cannot imagine going back to the life of corporate offices and would not dream of getting someone else to take care of my son for 40 hours a week. With being a WAHM, there is always a way through but sometimes it just takes some real skilled navigation :-)
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