Month 19: Another One?

I'm afraid to have another baby. There, I said it. I am afraid that I won't be able to handle two, that another kid would strain our finances and our marriage, and even that we won't love another baby as much as the first. What if the second one's a holy terror? I mean, Miles has his moments, but he sleeps and eats like a champ, gets along with everybody, and has the cutest dimples you've ever seen. Why push our luck?

Of course, I didn't say all this to the five people in the past week who asked me The Question: "So, when are you guys going to have another?" I just smiled and said, "This one's keeping us plenty busy for now."

The truth is, C. and I had always planned on having more than one child. He's one of five siblings and I'm one of two. One of the few friends I have who's an only child told me it was lonely being around adults all the time. And Miles LOVES being around other kids. I've never seen him laugh harder than with another kid (like my niece here). It would almost be mean to deprive him of that.

So sometimes I think, of course we'll have another. Then I'll find myself in a particularly challenging situation and think, "What the hell am I thinking, having another one?!" Let's take the airport, for example.

The trip up to the grandparents' was OK. C. and I traveled together. One of us maneuvered the enormous baggage cart while the other kept track of Miles. We passed him back and forth on the plane and managed to keep him from grabbing fistfuls of the long, curly blonde locks of the college girl sitting next to us.

The trip back, however, was a different story. C. flew home early for work so I came back with my brother, SIL, and 11-mo.-old niece. At the airport, my brother dropped us off at the curb to return the rental car. My niece was napping, so she had to be carefully transferred to the stroller. Meanwhile, Miles had to be unhooked from the carseat and strapped into his stroller while we wrangled two carseats, two strollers, and umpteen pieces of luggage into the airport. I still have a hideous purple bruise on my shin from this undertaking.

Because of the long lines, we split up at the check-in counter. I had just moved our giant Pile O' Crap to one clerk when she closed up shop and told me to go over to some other line 20 yards away. Um, OK. Shall I just drag the suitcase over with my teeth? Fortunately, my SIL was close enough to keep an eye on the stroller while I checked in at the other counter.

Traveling with a couple extra adults also came in handy later. Say, when they blocked Miles from sprinting through the metal detector while I was taking off my coat, retrieved our stuff from the conveyor belt while I tackled a shoeless Miles on the other side, and pushed the empty stroller while I chased my son, who refused to get back into it. Tell me, how in the hell would I manage that with TWO children?

People who have more than one kid (and are apparently dying for everyone else to join the party) will tell you lies like, "It gets easier." Right. When one of them leaves for college? Some people have done complicated math to determine the ideal spacing between siblings. Some take the approach of having them as close together as possible to "get it over with." Some wait till the older kid's in school or out of diapers.

Of course, that assumes that a woman can get pregnant at will and carry to term, which we all know is false. A couple of friends who had no problems the first time are now struggling to get pregnant with baby #2. And there is the little matter of me turning 34 on my next birthday. I am approaching the dreaded Advanced Maternal Age.

I'm also feeling some pressure from friends who are already on baby number THREE! God help 'em. Apparently, three is the new two. Who knew? I say, once the kids outnumber the parents, you're done for. But what do I know? Like I said, I have my hands full with one.

So, C. and I have a lot of thinking to do. But for now, the answer to The Question is one I've stolen from a clever former colleague who had just gotten married. (See? It starts then and doesn't even end once you've had ONE baby!!) Whenever people asked when she was going to have a baby, she'd say, "Nine months after I get pregnant."

TIP O' THE WEEK: Anyone NOT make a New Year's resolution to get more organized this year? I just stocked up on cheap folders, calendars & other office supplies in the Target $1 section.