Better to Rant or Rave?

A recent post by Crabmommy over at Cookiemag.com has got me thinking. First off, I love the quote she opened with: “Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it’s what you want before you commit.” Ha! She goes on to say how, in her experience, moms only talk about the shiny, happy parts of motherhood and ignore the not-so-great parts. In fact, she says she doesn't enjoy being a mom because “a ginormous portion of the time, [it's] tedious and frustrating.” Her post sparked lots of comments, some quite heated.

In some ways, I can see her point. In those early weeks, say, when you’re in breastfeeding hell and can’t even sit down without your rubber donut, and you can’t find time to shower which is just as well because your naked body is a horror show, and your relatives are all chirping about how lucky you are to have a healthy baby and to enjoy this time and by the way, when are you going back to work, you just want everybody to Shut. The Hell. Up.

And then when your baby’s older and kicking the crap out of you because they don’t want to get into their carseat, or they’re flinging around the homemade organic carrot-barley-kelp mush that you spent hours making because the books say you should, and you haven’t been out of the house in 4 days because it’s just too damn hard to get everybody fed and dressed and out the door, then it’s really not helpful to have someone say, “Oh, I just love every minute of motherhood, don’t you?”

I’m glad I have friends who talk honestly about parenthood. And I will admit that I’ve secretly gloated when those women I perceive as Supermoms have cracked a little. You know, the undereye circles that even their careful makeup can’t conceal, the uncharacteristic bedhead at the park, the mumbled, almost imperceptible admission that their little sweetpea is not so much into the naps these days. (“Ha! I KNEW she wasn’t perfect!!” I crow to myself.)

BUT. There’s honest, and then there’s depressing. Does it really make you feel better to have someone agree that their life is just as horrible and tedious as yours? OK, maybe for a minute, you feel a boost of solidarity. At least you’re not the only one. But then what? Yay, us! Our lives BOTH suck?

Listen, I’ve never been Miss Mary Sunshine. I’ve always found it much easier to complain than to find the silver lining or make lemonade or whatever. In fact, there have been times when I worried that I was complaining too much in this blog, and wondered whether people would think I didn’t like being a mom at all. Because I do. A lot. Lucky for me, I have an awesome group of supportive readers who take time to write me encouraging and sympathetic comments. I haven’t been berated for being a bad mom and terrible person (yet).

My approach to the more “challenging” aspects of motherhood has been to talk about it. Both here and with my real and virtual friends and fellow moms. But instead of—or should I say, in addition to—all the whining and moaning and complaining, I like to find the humor in my situation. Because, if we’re really being honest here, a 2 1/2-foot-tall person in footy pajamas and a puffy diaper shouting, “Mo’ muffinthz!” (translation: “more muffins”) is pretty damn funny. And, dare I say, worth the trouble.

TIP O' THE WEEK: Old Navy is having a big clearance sale right now. I bought a HUGE pile 0' stuff for $37, including about 6 shirts, PJs, and a bunch of socks. Score!