Farewell to a Friend

It’s a sad day here in Baltimore. We’re losing our good friends, E.M. and her family. They’re moving back to her home state of Minnesota. Boo, hiss! I hate when friends move away. How can they selfishly consider the needs of their own families over their friends’?? Don’t they know how hard it is to not only find girlfriends you like, but ones whose spouses and kids you like, too?!

I’ve always considered E.M. sort of my “mom mentor.” She was the first of us to have a baby, and now she has 3 smart, adorable kids. This chick knows what she’s doing, people. We all go out and buy whatever carseat or stroller she has, because we trust her opinion. She’s served as a breastfeeding hotline to many of us new moms, as well as a shoulder to cry or complain on. She gives me her old issues of Brain, Child. Plus, her kids’ hand-me-downs make up about 75% of Miles’ wardrobe.

But, fine, I get it. She wants to be near her family. I would never underestimate the pull of free babysitting. And having kids grow up near their cousins and grandparents has got to be great. I wouldn’t know. We lived miles and miles away from any extended family when I was a kid.

I’ve always been fascinated by the reasons why people live where they do. Several of my friends in Baltimore came here because of a guy and ended up staying, even after they’d ditched the boyfriend. Others, like C. and me, landed here sort of randomly, because of jobs or school. We’ve thought about moving closer to our families, but we like it here. I love our house and our friends. Most of my business contacts are here. Plus, it took me this long to find a regular babysitter! No way am I giving that up.

Of course, sometimes you don’t have a choice. My favorite Stroller Strides instructor is moving because her husband got a new job. If that happened to us, I might seriously consider staying here, taking in renters, and having a commuter marriage. I’m not moving to some dumb place where I don’t know anyone and there’s no good Thai food or you have to have an $800 stroller to fit in, just because C. got a job there!! (And I wonder where Miles gets his stubbornness…)

My friend S. had to move to Arkansas before she had her first baby. She was stuck home alone every day while her husband worked long hours at a new job. And the only place to shop was Wal-Mart. She passed the time taking the baby out for long walks in the hideous heat. It sounds horrible. Thank goodness she moved back to Baltimore.

Especially since we don’t live near family, friends are a big reason I like living where I do. But is that really a good reason for living somewhere? What happens if your friends move away? I hear that some people actually make new friends. (Gasp!) Although now that I’m a mom, I find it even harder to connect with people. What with nap schedules, classes and lessons, work and spouses, etc. it’s damn near impossible to get together. Sometimes I go months without seeing my friends who only live a few miles away.

Anyway, E.M., we’ll miss you. And if C. gets a new job, I’ll have some extra space around here for you and the kids to come visit! ;)

SHOUT OUT: Thanks to NW Designs for my snazzy new blog design! Check out her blog, The Chronicles of a SAHM.