Jealous of WHO?!

Someone out there is jealous of you. Believe me, it’s true. I’m not saying that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I’m just stating a fact. Because even though we all know we should count our blessings and be grateful for what we have and not compare ourselves to other people, blah, blah, blah… it’s so much easier said than done. Sometimes you need the jolt of seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes to really get it.

This happened to me recently. I was talking with an acquaintance. She’s a high-powered executive of some sort, and has kids the same age as mine. She mentioned that her family was just back from vacation. When she’d asked her son what the best part of the week was he’d said, “Having you around all the time.”

“Awww,” I instinctively replied, thinking nothing of it besides that it was a sweet comment. So it took me a moment to realize this other mom was worried about whether being away from her kids so much for work was negatively impacting them. I believe, for a moment at least, she was actually envious of me. ME?!

Look, I have a great life. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But it’s not all unicorns and rainbows, either. For instance, it might be nice if we had the means to tackle home repairs immediately instead of waiting until the washing machine bursts a hose, spraying my visiting mom in the face as she’s helping with the laundry. (Sorry, Mom!)

Or if we had some more help in general so that I didn’t have to decide between writing, showering, or going to the post office during my rare child-free hours.

Looking at this other mom with her Blackberry and her laptop and her nanny, she doesn’t look like the type to let important things slide or fly by the seat of her tailored pants. It never occurred to me for a second that she might look at me as some sort of role model or great example of motherhood.

ME, in my wrinkled cargo pants and flip-flops! ME, nuking chicken nuggets and frozen peas for dinner night after night! (I wish I could say it’s because our oven is still broken but the sad truth is, I’ve barely noticed.)

Somehow, this exchange opened my eyes to something I knew intellectually, but never believed in reality: that other people would love to step into my flip-flops and be able to microwave peas for their children every day. It’s kind of like when you were in junior high and your mom told you that the boys were picking on you because they liked you. You wanted to believe it, but you couldn’t quite accept it as true.

Well, believe me – it’s true. That husband who second-guesses your diapering technique and insists on picking out the baby’s outfits? Is someone else’s involved dad. That overbearing mother-in-law? Is someone else’s free babysitter in shining armor. That flexible work schedule that complicates childcare arrangements? Is someone else’s dream job.

I’m not trying to heap another serving of guilt onto your plate. I’m just giving you some food for thought. Somewhere out there, there’s a mom who has no idea I’m insanely jealous of her because her baby’s NOT walking yet.

READ O’ THE WEEK: Gwyneth Paltrow addresses postpartum depression in her oddly named blog, GOOP. Actress Bryce Dallas Howard’s account of her struggle with PPD is especially moving.