My Baby's an Ageist

My baby hates old people. I can’t deny it anymore; it’s true. Old people that aren’t related to him, that is. This is embarrassing, to say the least.

We’ll be at some gathering and everyone will be cooing over the baby, and then some sweet grandmotherly type will have the gall to smile at him, or worse – PICK HIM UP – and Riley will curl his bottom lip and begin to wail. So not only is he the mother of all mama’s boys, but he’s an ageist!

Unfortunately for him, one of our favorite babysitters is an older woman. You couldn’t meet a more warm, caring, child-loving person than P. If there’s a baby in sight that requires holding, rocking, or singing to, she’s there. She often calls or visits between sitting gigs simply because she misses the kids.

These facts are lost on Riley. All he sees is white hair, a cardigan, and glasses. (Technically, her hair’s not even white, more of a light blonde.) She might as well have on a Darth Vader mask and fangs the way this baby carries on.

In spite of this, we hired P. to sit for us Sat. night so C. and I could go out to dinner to celebrate our 6th anniversary. Let me repeat that: 6! Whole! Years! Of marriage! Oh, sure, that might not sound like much to some of you. But considering that we have weathered job loss, family crises, the birth of two sons, and countless daily stresses and struggles during that time, 6 years sometimes seems like a miracle, OK? Definitely worthy of celebration.

I can’t even tell you the last time my husband and I went out, just the 2 of us, for a romantic dinner date. It may have been a year ago, on our last anniversary. And since I was pregnant, I couldn’t drink and I got heartburn, so it wasn’t as romantic as it could’ve been.

ANYWAY... This year we made a reservation at the hottest restaurant in town and got all dolled up. I made a special trip to the mall for some new earrings in an attempt to appear at least slightly hip. (And then I couldn’t wear them after all because my holes have practically closed up since I almost never wear jewelry anymore.) I even got a pedicure and wore heels. Oh, yeah, it was THAT big a night, people!

So P. shows up and Riley immediately starts crying. C. says, “I know how to fix that,” and lets P. take over feeding the baby his pureed squash. Have I mentioned how much my boy likes to eat? But still, his crying persisted. Oh, don’t think he stopped eating. But he would wail, take a bite, TURN HIS HEAD AWAY FROM THE SITTER and continue crying! That little...

P. insisted he would be fine once we left, so we did. And he was. Except that he refused to drink his bedtime bottle while she was holding him. This child has NEVER EVER turned down a breast or bottle in his entire life!! Unbelievable. Thankfully, he could live off the fat on his thighs for a whole winter if he had to.

Our dinner was great. The restaurant, Woodberry Kitchen, was recently written up in the New York Times. It’s in a funky old converted mill with exposed brick and high ceilings. The food is all local and/or organic, and the menu features things like spiced pear flatbread and pan-seared monkfish with squash ravioli. YUM!

So what if we talked about the kids half the time? So what if we’re not as fit and energetic and well-read as we were when we got married? So what if we were home by 9:30 because I was tired and didn’t want to pay the sitter for another hour? We still like each other, we had fun, and that’s all that matters.

Besides, as much fun as last night was, cuddling on the couch this morning with the boys in my bathrobe was even better. And lucky for Riley, there were no old people in sight.

LINK O’ THE WEEK: Project Happily Ever After is a great website I found after reading about the author and her husband in Redbook. Basically, her marriage took a dive after they had a baby and this project started as an attempt to fix it. Her blog is upbeat and interesting, and she offers a free e-book with relationship tips.

SHOUT OUT: Congrats to my friend M.C., new mama to baby Charlotte!