Perception vs. Reality

If you’re a fan of “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” like I am (mmmm, Ty Pennington...) then you may be familiar with Paige Hemmis, the perky blonde designer/handywoman with an excessive fondness for the color pink. I was surprised to learn from a recent article in People (which, let’s face it, is where I get 90% of my news these days) that she once suffered from debilitating depression.

The part that struck me was when she said she was afraid to tell people about it because there she was, working on this show helping people suffering from all sorts of major problems, and she felt guilty that she wasn’t happy with her supposedly great life.

How sad for her. How sad that she felt she wasn’t "allowed" to be depressed because she "should" be happy. How sad that she isolated herself from her friends and family rather than talk about the struggles she was going through. Does this sound at all familiar? It does to me.

There have been many, many times when I’ve complained about how hard my life is -- being home with 2 little ones, trying to squeeze in my writing work where I can, having a husband who works long hours at a stressful job, living far away from family, dealing with financial stress, etc. And I’ve been brought up short by someone else or by my own internal dialogue. “Stop it! You’ve got so much to be thankful for,” they/I insist. “You have 2 beautiful, healthy children, a husband who loves you, and a roof over your head.” And it’s true, I do.

And yet, when I hear stories like Hemmis’ I wonder, are we doing ourselves a disservice by putting on a happy face, pretending everything’s peachy and going about our lives? Are we doing OTHERS a disservice?

I heard through the grapevine that an acquaintance whose baby is about the same age as mine is suffering from postpartum depression. This came as a surprise to me because I recently ran into her at the park and she seemed fine. (Whatever that means.) It got me thinking about how perception and reality are often vastly different.

If anyone were to see me on a random weekday morning, for instance, they might think: “Look at that chick in her gym clothes with her Starbucks. Must be nice.” They might see me as a privileged lady of leisure, pampering herself while her kids are at school or with a nanny. I doubt they would think, “Look at that poor, overwhelmed mom hanging onto her last shred of sanity through exercise and a small indulgence during a rare hour to herself.”

It just goes to show, you never know what’s going on with someone else. That stranger with the perfect body/job/marriage/life might not be so perfect after all. It’s liberating in a way, isn’t it? Knowing that even celebrities don’t get a free pass to avoid life’s struggles. And humbling, too.

OK, this is getting a little too serious, so let’s lighten things up. How cute are Rebecca Romijn’s twins?? And what is UP with the wacky celebrity baby names, Nicole Richie?!

VIDEO O’ THE WEEK: Lower the volume, cover your ears. I have captured “The Scream” on video. Tell me listening to this 24/7 isn’t enough to send you to the loony bin!