1. Just when you figure out something your picky child will eat, he’ll decide he doesn’t like it anymore. “I don’t like chicken nuggets and mustard now, Mama!” Good thing I just bought them IN BULK at Costco!!
2. For once you make it to school on time -- and then you realize it’s a holiday.
3. The one time you leave your cell phone in the car while you go to the gym is the one time your sitter was frantically trying to get a hold of you because you left her a bottle for the baby but no nipple.
4. The baby FINALLY sleeps through the night -- but only because he has a fever.
5. Your child quietly entertains himself for a whole half-hour. Because he was busy drawing all over the furniture in the next room.
6. You get caught up on all your thank-you notes -- before realizing you forgot to address them before you sealed the envelopes.
7. At last, your toddler has started going #2 on the potty by himself! Too bad he pulls up his pants before telling you he needs to be wiped.
8. You manage to get both kids to take a nap at the same time -- but not on the same day.
9. In a rare fit of productivity, you make dinner from scratch. Then you burn the bajeezus out of it because you forgot to turn the stove off while you gave the baby a bath.
10. After months of trying, you and that super-busy mom finally schedule a playdate for your kids. Then someone contracts an infectious disease the day before.
11. You get everybody’s sheets washed, dried, and put back on their beds. The very next day, someone has a diaper blowout, throws up, or spills a juice box all over their bed -- or yours.*
*BTW, does anyone else get bloody knuckles from changing crib sheets? Do they really need to make those things so freaking tight??
12. You can't wait for your little shadow to be more independent. Then comes the day when he slams the door in your face because he “needs privacy” and he skips off to preschool without a backward glance.
NEWS O’ THE WEEK: The next session of my 6-week online writing class, “Personal Essays that Get Published” starts in a week! There’s still room for last-minute sign-ups. The class offers great camaraderie, accountability & best of all, how-to tips on getting published, even if you never have before. Past students have sold their essays to Chicago Parent, Southern Living, The New York Times & more. Get more info & sign up here.
9/30/09
12 Ironies of Motherhood
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10 comments:
Hahaha...and how about when you finally get around to mopping the floor, it's like it suddenly becomes a spill magnet? Not just kids spills but husband spills too. AHHH!
Oh, so true! Thanks for the laugh.
I've been trying to decide between your class and the WPSS class offered by Christina Katz. I'm leaning towards yours, though. I'll get my registration in for one of them ASAP! :)
Kim, WPSS is a great class, too. I've taken it. Why not take both? ;) It depends whether you want to focus on articles or essays (first-person). Both classes are designed to help students produce polished work and get published. I'd love to have you!
I am considering both, but I can't do both at the same time. I love writing in first person so I feel your class is a better fit. "Being an expert" on a topic to write an article about it seems daunting to me. :)
LOL (I'm writing this with hurt knuckles) I seriously can check off everything on this list. Yep! Me too! Reading this post helps me see the humor in all of them, because when I'm actually in the moment with any of them I can tell you I am not usually laughing. Diaper blowouts on clean sheets - lots of sighing, fevers and night - lots of worry wrinkles added to my eyes, dinner from scratch - lots of "oh man" comments while I quietly seethe... Thank you for helping me see the funny side of all these things we experience as moms!
I have never gotten bloodied knuckles, but definitely bruised!
Your posts always give me a good laugh. Try ultimate crib sheet from now...
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3188798
Read each one of these and said, "yeeeap". :)
Regarding #12: It kind of hurts my feelings when my son sees me at pick-up time from preschool and runs the other way....pouting and yelling "I don't want to go home!" It's like dragging a dead body out the door when it's time to leave. Guess 'ol mom's no fun! I just can't compete with playgrounds, fun toys and messy art projects.
April, I can relate. Last year all the other kids cried at pre-K drop-off. Only MINE cried at pick-up!
Haha! I loved this post, so well written and so well said! And it's so true about those crib sheets... oh, my GOD! Impossible to change!
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