This Movie's Just Not That Into Me

I don’t know about you, but a night out with my husband or friends is a rare and precious thing. So can you imagine how annoyed I was when my attempts to see a movie this weekend were foiled, not once but TWICE??

First, C and I had planned to go out to a movie on Sat. night. This was supposed to count as our Valentine’s Day date, our last hurrah before the new baby comes. We lined up a sitter, read movie reviews, cross-referenced them with showtimes at our local theaters, bought our tickets online, debated whether or not we could fit in dinner, too … More preparation went into a simple date night than planning the presidential inauguration.

Once we weeded out foreign films (not C’s favorite), depressing films, and really bad films, we were left with the romantic comedy, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” C agreed to this chick flick because it was filmed in Baltimore and he can tolerate Ben Affleck. Plus, his arm was twisted by his heavily pregnant wife who claimed it was her “last night of freedom, possibly EVER.”

So the sitter came, we dashed out the door, headed downtown—and ran smack into the worst traffic I’ve ever encountered. Gridlock everywhere, horns blaring. Dammit!! Later, we’d find out there was a water main break and a major road was closed. Super. So we get to the theater half an hour late. C used his powers of persuasion to convince them to give us vouchers for another show. Staying up till 10 p.m. was not an option, however, so we decided to get dinner instead.

Disappointed, I allowed myself to be cheered up by Thai food and virgin mojitos. Yummy! I felt like quite the spectacle with my giant belly at a place populated by hip, young pretty people with normal-sized abdomens. But hey, a night out’s a night out.

The next day, my neighbor friend and fellow preggo called to suggest an afternoon out. Like me, she felt her days of freedom were rapidly waning. (And she’s on her THIRD kid!) Hey, I told her, I have these vouchers from last night. Wanna go see a movie? She did, so we headed downtown.

The theater wasn’t even open when we arrived, but I grabbed an employee coming out the door. “We don’t open for half an hour,” she told us, but assured us there was no way a 1:30 p.m. showing would sell out. So we went to lunch. An hour later, we came back, eager to enjoy the dating foibles of Jennifer Aniston et al—only to find the movie was SOLD OUT!!! If there’s anything worse than one pissed-off pregnant lady, it’s two of them. But what could we do? We went shopping instead.

If there’s anyone out there who’s single, childless, or has a built-in sitter at their disposal and can see a movie whenever they feel like it, consider yourself lucky. There may come a day when this simple act becomes an impossible feat. As for me, I guess there’s always Netflix.

PIC O’ THE WEEK: Rapper M.I.A. performed at the Grammys last night ON HER DUE DATE. That’s gotta be a first. And it answers the question, “Where can I find a black mesh maternity mini dress?”