Gestating Makes Me Grumpy

I’m running out of shirts. Only the biggest and stretchiest cover my midsection anymore. Good thing the weather’s gotten warmer lately because it was starting to get a little drafty now that I can no longer zip my coat.

All along, people have been telling me, “You’re so tiny!” and “Wow, only X weeks to go? I looked like that at 5 mos.” Liars, all of them. Anyway, in the past week the comments have changed to, “You’ve gotten a lot bigger since I last saw you!” and “You just keep on growing, huh?” Yep, that’s pretty much the way it works, Einstein.

I had a sonogram this morning to make sure the baby’s growth is on track. There I am, grunting and straining to get comfortable on the exam table, and the lab technician’s saying, “Oh, look at that poor baby, all squished up in there! He’s got no room to move.” That’s right, feel sorry for the baby when I’M the one with sharp body parts protruding from my belly. Apparently, it’s a non-stop dance party in my womb.

No one can believe it when we say we haven’t finalized a name yet. I’ve started testing out potential ones on strangers. This only serves to remind me why you should never reveal baby names before said baby is born. This morning I told the lab tech one of our top picks and she said, “For a boy?” Poof. That’s the sound of my bubble bursting.

Besides, these days everyone’s playing fast and loose with gender-specific names, anyway. I know girls named Ryan, Hayden, and Morgan. Names like Rowan and Cameron could go either way. And what about guys like Tracy Morgan and Leslie Nielsen? Those are closer to girls’ names than anything we have in mind.

According to a quick scan of the name tags at Miles’ gymnastics class, Oliver and Grace are quite popular among the preschool set right now, with Jack and Isabella following closely behind. But really, the names run the gamut. It seems anything goes these days.

Well, people, I’m starting to bore even myself, so I’ll direct you to these blogs at Parenting.com. Maybe you’ll find some more stimulating material there. (Look, here’s proof I was boring and irritable this time in my last pregnancy, too.)

In the meantime, a Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! Gorge yourself on chocolate and conversation hearts, and graciously accept the necklace made from string, dried Play-Doh and glitter that your child made for you at school. Tiffany’s is overrated, anyway.

LINK O’ THE WEEK: Good gravy, here’s an over-the-top baby name if I ever heard one! Those crazy celebs.

READ O’ THE WEEK: Who knew redheads were in danger of becoming extinct? Not this one.