No Dad-Bashing Here

Apparently there’s some unwritten rule that you can’t talk smack about your husband on your blog. Even though I try to be mindful of my hubby C.’s feelings (really, I do) I have gotten in trouble for this before. Like the time I blogged about him accidentally unplugging the freezer full of breast milk. (And, no, I will never, ever let that one go!) Or the time I said he was so immune to clutter he wouldn’t notice if a stack of dirty sippy cups fell on top of him. What? Is that so harsh?

Most recently, my mom got mad at me because I called C. a “lucky bastard” for getting to go to work while I was stuck in the house with a sick kid for the fourth consecutive day. Lighten up, people!! It’s my blog and I’ll complain if I want to.

Everyone who knows C. knows he’s a great guy and fabulous father. My intent is not to bash him, ever. But I’m a writer. A blogger. A harried, work-at-home, full-time mom who chronicles the good, the bad, and the sticky about life with a husband and kid. And some of those chronicles happen to include anecdotes about people who put plastic on the bottom rack of the dishwasher and leave boat-sized shoes in the hallway for pregnant people to trip over in the dark.

(Is it any wonder I’ve never told my in-laws about my blog? Far be it from me to break it to them that they raised a son who climbs into bed UNDER a pile of clothes rather than put them away first! Although -- heh, heh -- I’ve been known to do that myself if I’m tired enough...)

So even though I believe in honesty and freedom of expression, I read something recently that made me rethink the (occasional, light-hearted) swipes I take at my husband. In a recent issue of Parents magazine, single mom Lori Gottleib writes “I Heart Your Husband: Why Your Guy Is Better Than No Guy at All.” This blogger has reprinted the article here. (Though notice how she prefaces it by saying how thankful she is for her “sweet, stellar, awesome, stud-of-a-man, who's never backed away from changing a dirty diaper.” OK, OK, we get it: your hubby’s perfect. Moving on.)

I think about how hard it would be to be a single parent all the time. Gottleib’s right: anyone who lets you sleep in sometimes, pitches in with the diapers and laundry, and can mow the lawn and fix stuff deserves props. So maybe in the grand scheme of things, putting plastic plates in the bottom of the dishwasher is not such a big deal. (Although they will TOTALLY melt and make a huge stinky mess, just so you know.) And leaving shoes and laundry around certainly doesn’t qualify as a character flaw.

I suppose I should thank Gottleib for reminding me how lucky I am. I mean, how many husbands clean up a diaper blowout at 2 a.m. and then get up and make kick-ass banana pancakes? So I will try to be more careful of C.’s feelings and image in the future. (Just so you know, I have extended him an open invitation to guest post and defend himself at any time! Hear that, honey?)

But all bets are off if there’s ever another breast milk/freezer incident.

TIP O’ THE WEEK: As part of the ongoing window-treatment saga, I found some light-blocking shades for Miles’ new room at JCPenney.com. But I didn’t want to pay for shipping. So I called and asked if they could waive the charge; they said no. (In this economy? Dumb.) But thanks to Google, I found a free shipping code within minutes. So there, JCP!