Firsts for New Moms

New moms are all about firsts, aren’t they? We have pictures of the baby’s first bath, first tooth, first steps, first haircut. That’s all well and good, but what about the firsts for us moms? Say, that first postpartum mimosa, or the first piece of non-maternity clothing you buy for yourself. Other memorable firsts include:

The first time you forget you have a baby. My friend L. found herself in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru recently on her way to work. There was a line so she thought, “I’ll just run in.” Oh, wait. Except there’s that sleeping baby in the backseat. D’oh!

For me it was when I was out running errands for the first time after having the baby. I browsed through Target, chatted on the phone, came home, opened the door and … there was a baby crying in my house! Oh, right. That’s MY baby. It takes some getting used to.

The first time you cut corners. You started out strong -- you pre-washed all the onesies in Dreft, you sterilized everything in the house. For awhile, maybe you were changing the crib sheet daily. But then you started covering up the spit-up stains with a bib. Waiting a little longer between diaper changes. Before you know it, you’re employing the 5-second rule when the baby drops his pacifier on the dog hair-covered floor. Hey, a few germs never hurt anyone.

The first time you realize you are a bad influence on your child. Lately, every time I change Miles’ diaper, he says, “Gross!” Could I have maybe uttered that word a time or two upon unwrapping his ripe Huggies? Great. I’ve given my kid body issues already. Forget potty training. He’s going to develop a hygiene obsession that will impact his future relationships and render him unable to use public restrooms as an adult. Way to go, Mom.

The first time you think mean thoughts about your baby. Maybe it’s the night you are awakened every 45 minutes to feed him. Or when you realized you’re no longer welcome at your favorite restaurant with your new companion. Or when your offspring purposefully sprays a mouthful of pureed carrots all over your new sweater. “Damn baby!” you may think. “You’ve ruined my life!” But only for a second. …Right??

The first time your baby makes you laugh. I can’t actually remember the very first time Miles cracked us up. It may have been when he made this face upon his first encounter with our dog, Gracie. Or maybe it was when he tried to pull off his sock with his gums.

These days he makes me laugh constantly. Like when he grabs a fistful of Playdoh, gives me a mischievous grin and says, “Yummy!” The little punk. Or when he does his post-bath Naked Baby Dance. Or shouts “Happy New Near!” for no reason. Or when he hugs a kitten … in a book. Or when he kisses his trains good-night. It’s the first time I’ve seen such unbridled affection for mass transport vehicles, that’s for sure.

IDEA O’ THE WEEK: My friend T. has an ingenious idea for a drive-thru convenience store. You could pick up milk, diapers, tampons -- all without unstrapping the kids from their carseats. Sort of like a Brew Thru for moms. Is that brilliant or what?