Historic Moments Are Lost on Toddlers

My friend EG, an Americorps alum, flew across the country to attend the presidential inauguration and related events. My SIL who lives in DC was planning to join the crowd of millions on the national mall today. As for me, I commemorated this momentous day in our nation’s history by taking my 2-year-old son with me to my ob/gyn appointment because snow delayed the opening of his preschool. Afterwards, I attempted to feed him lunch while catching the swearing-in ceremony on TV. A transcript of my experience follows.

President Obama (PO): “My fellow citizens…”

Miles (M): “SIT-zens!”

PO: “I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed…”

M: “Biz-TOWED!”

PO: “… mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors…”

M: “Rowr, ROWRR!!!”

Me (M2M): “Miles! I’m trying to listen to this. Take your tiger flashlight in the other room please.”

PO: “Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath…”

M: “Rowr, ROWRR!!!”

M2M: “MILES!!! Please be quiet!”

PO: “…because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.”

M: “DOC-you-mints!”

PO: “ … Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened …”

M2M: “Miles, that man is our new president.”

M: “Present? What present?”

M2M: “No, PRE-SI-DENT. His name is Barack Obama. Can you say Barack Obama?”

M: “Buh-ROCK O-bama. B’ROCK Obama! BROCKOBAMA BROCKOBAMA BROCKOBAMA!!”

PO: “Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real…”

M: “Mommy, you be a baby and I be a mommy. OK, mommy?”

M2M: “Miles, I just want to hear -- ”

M: “Mommy! You be a baby and I be the mommy, OK?”

Sigh. So much for important historic moments when there’s a toddler around.

LINK O’ THE WEEK: If, like me, you weren’t able to hear Obama’s inaugural address for one reason or his brother, here’s the complete transcript.

UPDATE O’ THE WEEK: Jen & Ben went with Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. Huh. Didn't see that one coming.

Baby Name Blues

So am I the only one obsessively Googling Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck to see if they’ve FINALLY named their new baby girl? I am? (Blush.) Well, what do you expect, I’m in the throes of a baby-name quandary myself right now!

To catch you up, I’m due in less than 2 mos. with Baby #2. Even though I am generally a fan of being surprised in the delivery room, we decided to find out the sex this time because my 2-year-old son, Miles, was going around announcing to everyone that he was getting a new baby brother.

Wanting to manage his expectations and make the transition from only child to sibling the least traumatic possible, we found out what we’re expecting. Turns out, Miles was right: it’s another boy! (Although doctors will tell you they can’t be 100% certain from a sonogram. Either way, we’re safe; the nursery’s green.)

For some reason, Miles has been calling this baby “Henry” from Day 1. I’m not sure why. It probably has something to do with Thomas the Tank Engine. (Henry’s the green one, right? Or is that Percy?) Thank goodness he didn’t latch onto “Fergus.” And while lots of people have said they like the name Henry, the baby’s father doesn’t happen to be one of them.

Last time, I believe Miles was the only name C. and I could agree on. So it’s not like we could go to choice #2 this time around. When I tell people we can’t decide on a name, they think I’m just being secretive. “Oh, come on! Just tell us! What are the choices?” they chide us. Um, that would imply that we’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3. People, believe me when I tell you I’m still going through the baby name book from cover to cover several times a week.

So what’s the problem? I’d like to place the blame squarely on my husband and his Irish surname. It narrows the field considerably. And while I like a good Irish name as much as the next lass, I can’t see calling my bundle of joy Seamus or Declan. Sorry, I just can’t.

Every name I like, C. hates. His reasons range from “The class bully in the 3rd grade was named that” to “It sounds like an ‘80s pop star.” Alrighty then. And every name he likes, I don’t. For fear of offending anyone (that is, beyond the Ferguses and Seamuses and Declans out there) I won’t reveal the names I’ve rejected. It’s just that if I can’t picture myself calling out that name a million times on the playground, and if it doesn’t suit a baby in diapers as well as a teenager and a grown man, I can’t get behind it.

So we’re stuck. It might come down to a poll or coin flip in the delivery room. Lucky for us, we’re not celebrities, so we don’t have to deal with silly baby-name suggestions from the media, nor will we be publicly ridiculed if we choose to name our child Bronx Mowgli or Charlie Tamara Tulip.

You know, Henry is starting to sound better and better...

LINKS O’ THE WEEK: I had some fun with the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator. I’d be “Engine Nighthawk Palin.” And this Baby Name Genie features a genie with an attitude. He gets ornery if you keep asking for more names.

PLEA O’ THE WEEK: If you or anyone you know wants to see your name in lights--er, that is, your byline in print--you have just 2 days left to sign up for my online writing class, Personal Essays that Get Published! I’ll share my insider secrets on how I got published in such national magazines as American Baby, Bride’s, and Health. I can tell you, it pays better than blogging!