Historic Moments Are Lost on Toddlers

My friend EG, an Americorps alum, flew across the country to attend the presidential inauguration and related events. My SIL who lives in DC was planning to join the crowd of millions on the national mall today. As for me, I commemorated this momentous day in our nation’s history by taking my 2-year-old son with me to my ob/gyn appointment because snow delayed the opening of his preschool. Afterwards, I attempted to feed him lunch while catching the swearing-in ceremony on TV. A transcript of my experience follows.

President Obama (PO): “My fellow citizens…”

Miles (M): “SIT-zens!”

PO: “I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed…”

M: “Biz-TOWED!”

PO: “… mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors…”

M: “Rowr, ROWRR!!!”

Me (M2M): “Miles! I’m trying to listen to this. Take your tiger flashlight in the other room please.”

PO: “Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath…”

M: “Rowr, ROWRR!!!”

M2M: “MILES!!! Please be quiet!”

PO: “…because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.”

M: “DOC-you-mints!”

PO: “ … Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened …”

M2M: “Miles, that man is our new president.”

M: “Present? What present?”

M2M: “No, PRE-SI-DENT. His name is Barack Obama. Can you say Barack Obama?”

M: “Buh-ROCK O-bama. B’ROCK Obama! BROCKOBAMA BROCKOBAMA BROCKOBAMA!!”

PO: “Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real…”

M: “Mommy, you be a baby and I be a mommy. OK, mommy?”

M2M: “Miles, I just want to hear -- ”

M: “Mommy! You be a baby and I be the mommy, OK?”

Sigh. So much for important historic moments when there’s a toddler around.

LINK O’ THE WEEK: If, like me, you weren’t able to hear Obama’s inaugural address for one reason or his brother, here’s the complete transcript.

UPDATE O’ THE WEEK: Jen & Ben went with Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. Huh. Didn't see that one coming.

No, We Can't, Bob & Barack

If you’re the parent of a young child who’s a fan of Bob the Builder, like I am, you may have noticed that the animated handyman shares a slogan with President-elect Barack Obama: “Can we do it? Yes, we can!” While I admire Bob’s and Obama’s positive attitude, when it comes to home improvement tasks around here, our sad refrain is: “No, we can’t.”

See, we have a toddler whose favorite pastimes are emptying out the junk drawer and managing to find all the sharp and/or potentially dangerous implements in the house. He’s not one to quietly amuse himself while we, say, caulk the leaky skylights or strip wallpaper. Or if he does, he’s amusing himself by finger-painting the upholstery with diaper rash cream. That means one of us always has to be on kid duty while the other is tackling our lengthy to-do list.

Since I am on kid duty pretty much full-time during the week, you can understand why I might not be super-enthusiastic about taking over on Saturdays and Sundays, too. Yet even when I’m not 6 mos. pregnant, I’m not clamoring to get my hands on the caulking gun. I do my share of household tasks, but I’m no Babe the Builder. What this usually means is that Dad takes over with Miles on the weekends, nothing gets done around the house, and I stress out about it.

But, really, what are our options? We don’t live close enough to our families to drop him off at Grandma and Grandpa’s for the day. The kid is frustratingly incompetent with a paint roller. I guess we could hire a sitter to watch him while we paint or rake, but I’d rather spend that money on a night out.

So we’re forced to take a tag-team approach to home improvement tasks. I watch Miles while C. runs to Home Depot. Then he takes Miles to the gym while I shop for shelves. Or we’ll all go together to Target, which more often than not is a huge time- and money-waster for everyone involved. We go in for a rug and we leave with more Lightning McQueen paraphernalia.

But we’ve got another baby on the way, and the flowered wallpaper in the guest room is not going to strip itself. So I took matters into my own hands. For 4 consecutive days during naptime, I peeled and steamed and stripped and scraped wallpaper myself. I was proud of what I accomplished during those 90-120 minute blocks. And on school mornings, I even made 3 separate trips to the paint store to find just the right shade of light blue. (Sherwin Williams’ no-VOC Harmony paint in Rhythmic Blue, if you care.)

Then on the weekend, C. spackled and sanded but did not get to the actual painting since I was so fed-up with potty training that I fled the house for all of Sat. and Sun. afternoon. The paint cans and rollers are just sitting there unopened, mocking us. In the yard, the fence is slowly falling apart, slat by slat. The skylights are still leaking. The dining room still needs a new coat of paint. The shelves we bought over a year ago still need to be put up.

Bob? Barack? If you’ve got a minute, we could use your can-do attitude over here -- or at least an extra pair of hands.

LINK O’ THE WEEK: For home décor inspiration, check out what people with more time and talent have done at Rate My Space. You can search by baby nurseries and boys’ or girls’ rooms, among other things.