5/14/10

How Does She Do It?

So I was at a moms’ group one time and got to chatting with this SAHM who has 3 kids, takes them all grocery shopping with her, grows her own vegetables, and probably weaves her own rugs from wool she shears from organically-fed sheep she raises in her backyard.

Not surprisingly, the rest of us were amazed. “How do you do it?” we marveled. She ducked her head modestly and muttered, “Oh, well, you know, it’s not that hard..."

No, really. I want to know EXACTLY HOW you do it. I want specifics, logistics, timelines! When you take all 3 kids to the supermarket, do you pile them all into one of those carts that looks like a car? The ones that are impossible to steer, so you end up running into people’s ankles when you try to round the corner of the cereal aisle?

And then when you get back to your car, do you unload the groceries first or the kids? Do you hold onto the cart with your foot to keep it from rolling away? Do you start the engine and roll down the windows first if it’s hot out? Then do you return the cart to the store while praying no one kidnaps your kids in the idling car, or do you just leave the cart in the parking lot?

These are the things baby books should really tell you. Like, how do you use a public bathroom with a baby in a stroller? Do you leave the stall door open? Do you ask a stranger to watch your baby? Do you use the handicapped stall and wheel the stroller right in there with you? (That's what I do, FYI.)

BTW, I once saw a product on TV that was invented for this very purpose. It was essentially a baby-hanger. You strapped the baby into this sort of harness-thingy and then hung him over the back of the door like a purse. You know there are people out there who actually bought it.

Even figuring out how to take a shower with a baby around is a complex maneuver. Bringing the bouncy seat into the bathroom seems the simplest choice to me, but what if your bathroom’s not big enough? For some moms, the highchair is the key, but I happen to have a fear-averse baby who will hurl himself sideways in an attempt to tip over the chair and escape.

I hate to break it to you moms of one, but it only gets more complicated with 2 or more kids. For instance, I had to potty-train my older son while nursing the younger one -- SIMULTANEOUSLY. This involved clever use of the Baby Bjorn and quick reflexes to avoid dumping the baby headfirst into the toilet. I have also learned to use my teeth and toes as extra hands.

I realize that for most people, “How do you do it?” is a rhetorical question. But if I’m the one asking, please -- draw me a diagram, would you?

LINK O’ THE WEEK: This post on “When Men Go Grocery Shopping” is exactly the kind of step-by-step, illustrated guide I’m talking about.

11 comments:

Crysi said...

I go to the store/mall/target with all 3 all the time, but I don't get a choice, my husband sleeps during the day. I usually put the twins in the double stroller & my 3yo walks or rides in the cart as I drag it behind me. I've also put the twins in a double seater cart. Costco is by far the easiest now. Then I park next to a cart corral, kids back in the car first, then groceries, then the cart. It's rough, but now that the twins are older, it's gotten a bit easier. I still get comments about it all the time though.

Now, if someone could tell me how to cook dinner & juggle 3 kids, I'd appreciate the help.

angie said...

The answer to your questions, D, all of the above. Post-college I was a waitress, and to this day, I can still stack three or four plates up my arm and hold several drinks in the other hand. It's empowering to be able to handle so much, but it requires a great deal of focus and practice. Being a mom is sort of like that, minus the tips. :O)

Adrienne Gomer said...

I know what you mean! I only have 1, but I watch another one during the week and I avoid anything that involves being in public with the 2 of them because it can turn into a nightmare. I'm afraid to have more because I also wonder how it's done. My 1 year old comes into the bathroom with me while I shower and use the toilet. I also use handicap dressing rooms and public bathrooms and wheel the stroller in with me.

Anonymous said...

We live in Glen Burnie, so not too far. Have you noticed how many public restrooms have the only changing table in the handicapped stall?? I think I would die if I was changing my screaming 14 mos old and a handicapped woman had to wait for us...

Caitlin said...

Me too! I could use a diagram! And an extra set of hands while you're at it!

I've got one little one (whose almost a year old) and a tween and I can barely manage them, I can't fathom more littlely ones to corral.

Sarah said...

This had me laughing a lot and I needed it this weekend so thanks! (My husband gave a less-than-stellar best man speeches ever last night and I wanted to duck out the back I was so embarrassed.) I like Crysi's idea of parking next to the cart corral because right now I put groceries first (foot on wheel to prevent cart running away) then push cart to corral with Graham in it and then carry him back to car. I am afraid it's considered neglect to put him in the car by himself after what happened to that lady at Wal-Mart who was unpacking her St. Vincent DePaul items!! Who the heck knows how I'll manage 3. I used to try and cook when Graham was napping (no matter what time of day) and then just reheated when it was actually dinner time. Now that we have our nanny it's pretty awesome and when I come home from work, and the gym, I still have at least half an hour usually to get dinner going before she leaves (LUCKY ME!! ;)

notlikeacat said...

I'm the same way--don't just vaguely tell me that you manage, tell me EXACTLY how!! And I'm only dealing with one child. I have a friend who manages to take her two kids to the playground post-nap, THEN goes to the gym (dropping them in the gym daycare) around the same time my son is clamoring for dinner (which I haven't even figured out yet, let alone made), and THEN goes home and makes dinner! Her kids are the same age as mine, and mine would be having a complete meltdown at the time she's heading to the gym. I just don't get it.

6512 and growing said...

So funny and true! I think back to when I one kid and was nervous to grocery shop. Now I feel weird if I'm only doing one thing at a time.

Anonymous said...

You keep me cracking up!!! I love your blog it gets me through the day. Best wishes, and pray for me baby number two is on the way :)

Kelly, Balto. Md

Mom2Miles said...

Thanks, Kelly, I will! :)

Dawn said...

LMBO. We have four little ones that are 4, 3, 2,and a newborn. My DH takes the toddlers to the store while I stay home with the baby. They pretty much follow him and obey or else they have to come home to timeout. They certainly don't want that. He puts them in their carseats firsts and then loads the groceries very quickly. It's hard and thank goodness he loves to cook so while he's cooking their either watching their favorite movie or playing with their toys. Then it's time to pray and eat. Bedtime is usually on a strict time right after a bath and a the show "Pocoyo" then they know it's time. Routine Scheduling is key. Now, the baby's routine is a whole different story. :)

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