What’s Up, Chuck?

Behold, the Sultan of Spit-up. The Duke of Puke. Or as his dad calls him, Spewey Lewis. This baby’s motto is “What goes down, must come up.”

I can’t hold it against him, though. It runs in the family. When I was a baby, my grandmother dubbed me “Vesuvius” for my tendency to erupt like a volcano. Since birth, I’ve had the world’s weakest stomach. The tiniest thing -- a bumpy car ride, that airplane smell, job-interview jitters -- can set off my delicate digestive system. I was always the kid getting carsick in the back seat or missing a birthday party because of my anxious stomach.

I thought I would outgrow it, but not so much. I once got sick on a plane while I was traveling with Miles. Let me tell you, it’s not pretty to have to ask a stranger to hold your baby while you make use of the airsickness bag!

Strangely, I did not have much morning sickness during my pregnancies, though this time around I did suffer through 2 bouts of a stomach bug. Maybe that explains Riley’s penchant for puking?

Anyway, it creates daily fashion emergencies around here, as you can imagine. First, there’s the baby. If we’re going out or expecting company, I want him to look cute. But all too often, I’ll get him all dressed up and then -- splat! What really kills me are the consecutive spit-ups. Sometimes I don’t even get his shirt snapped before he soils it again. And again. And AGAIN. I wish he could just hurl once and forever hold his peace. At least for an hour or so. Anyway, all that’s left by the time our company comes are mismatched onesies and hand-me-down sleepers. SO not the first impression we’re looking to make!

Then there’s me. As it is, my wardrobe is seriously sparse. There’s only so many options when you a) haven’t lost all the baby weight, b) are nursing, and c) are getting constantly spit-up on. And some outfits solve a and b but not c, or vice versa. For instance, black is slimming but the worst color you could wear to camouflage spit-up stains. Patterned shirts are good, but if they don’t button down the front, you risk indecent exposure when it’s time to nurse. What’s a mom to do?

Sometimes I feel like I should just wear a hazmat suit. I wonder if they come in pastels?

QUOTE O’ THE WEEK: “Mo-o-om! Riley throwed up again! It shooted out of his mouf like this -- bleh! bleh!”
- big brother Miles reenacting the scene

PIC O’ THE WEEK: He may be messy, but he sure is cute. Especially since he started smiling. Makes all that laundry worthwhile...