Oh, Brother!

Somehow, I got lulled into a false sense of security. Maybe because I’m a second-time mom? Maybe because we confidently left the hospital a day early, convinced we knew the drill? Maybe because baby Riley seemed so laid back those first few days? Why, there was one day last week when I managed to shower, nap, cook dinner, and update my blog ALL IN THE SAME DAY. Yeah, well...

Let’s just say we’ve taken one step forward and 2 or 3 steps back. The grandparents have gone home, the pre-made meals are almost all eaten, the formerly chill baby has become nocturnal, and the novelty of being a big brother has started to wear off for Miles.

At first, this big brother gig was better than Christmas. Most of the gifts arriving at our house are not for the baby, but for Miles. Fair enough; he’s the one old enough to notice. He’s now added to his fleet of toys a safari boat, a remote-control construction truck, and an enormous battery-powered space shuttle complete with a bazillion separate parts and action figures. Thanks, Dad.

Miles’ reaction when he visited me and the baby in the hospital was adorable. My mom brought him in, proudly sporting his “I’m a Big Brother” T-shirt. His eyes open wide with wonder, he made a beeline for the bassinet, pulled up a chair, and climbed up to peer in at his new baby brother. “He’s so tiny!” Miles said. Then he proceeded to try to pry open the baby’s eyes and mouth to see what color his eyes were and whether he had any teeth.

Once we got home, things went pretty smoothly. First, because my mom devoted all her attention to Miles, so he barely even noticed the baby was getting most of mine. And of course, all the new toys helped keep him busy. Second, Miles is (thankfully) a heavy sleeper, so he wasn’t disturbed by the baby’s cries at night or during naps.

So far, Miles’ interactions with his little brother mainly involve him coming over to the bouncy seat or bassinet and cooing, “He’s so cuuuute!” and attempting to kiss or hug the baby. I try in vain to explain that crushing an 8 lb. newborn with one’s entire body weight is perhaps not the best way to show affection. But hey, it’s better than hitting the baby over the head with a truck, right?

Also, Miles likes to show his little brother his toys. And by “show,” I mean he sticks the toy half an inch away from the baby’s eyeball. “Miles, Miles! Back up, buddy. Give Riley some space,” I tell him. He likes to watch me change Riley’s diaper, but doesn’t like it when the baby cries. More than once, I’ve turned around to grab a wipe and found Miles holding his hand over the baby’s mouth. “Miles!! You can’t do that!” I shout. “But I just want him to stop crying,” he explains, all wide-eyed and innocent.

Miles does seem proud of his new big brother title, though. He often tells people, a propos nothing, “I have a new baby. I’m a big brother.” (Which he pronounces “bruh-zher.”) One morning, my mom asked him whether he’d like a big muffin or a mini muffin for breakfast. “I want a big muffin. I’m a big brother!” he announced. Of course.

I sense Miles’ patience is wearing thin, though, especially now that his devoted admirers (aka grandparents) have gone home. In his defense, it IS hard for me to do everything I used to with him now that I have a baby attached to me nearly 24/7. It’s hard to kick a soccer ball/play hide & seek/read to him in the rocking chair now that another little guy is sharing my time, attention, and lap.

Not to mention the fact that the baby tricked us into thinking he was a mellow, laid-back fellow, only to start the 2 a.m. fussing a few days in. So while Miles wakes up bright-eyed and full of energy each morning, Mom and Dad are stumbling around sleep-walking. But as our pediatrician and all those “Party in my crib: 3 a.m.” onesies will attest, this is the norm for newborns.

It’s an adjustment, people. That’s for sure. We have our good days (like the one I described above), and our bad days (like when I yelled at Miles for climbing in the baby’s Moses basket and both of us burst into tears.) But the hormones are leveling off, everyone’s healthy, and we’ve got lots of friends and family to lean on for support. Really, what more could a new mom ask for? (Besides a nap, obviously!)