Make Room for Riley!

OK, I take back everything I said about my unborn baby being a procrastinator. Turns out, he’s the picture of punctuality -- he arrived on his own, no inducement necessary, at 6:14 a.m. on his due date! That’s right, just like his mom, my son is a master at meeting a deadline.

So here’s what happened: my mom arrived on a Weds. night. Thurs., I ran around showing her how to get to Miles’ school and gym class, how to use the microwave and TV (Miles is addicted to “Wow, Wow, Wubbsy” on Noggin right now. Who comes up with these shows?!), his daily schedule, food preferences, etc. We went out to lunch, and on the walk back to the car I started noticing that my belly felt tight.

“I think I’m having contractions,” I told my mom. Now, this is the biggest mystery ever to me -- how someone who’s already had a baby could NOT know when she’s in labor. But I just wasn’t sure. By 8 p.m. that night, I decided I was definitely having regular contractions. I settled onto the couch with a bowl of ice cream to watch “Ugly Betty.”

By 10 p.m. I was starting to get a little uncomfortable. “I’d better go to bed and get some sleep while I can,” I thought. Too late. Within an hour, my contractions were getting more intense and closer together. 12 minutes, then 10, then 8 minutes apart. Given my experience last time, however -- when I had contractions all day long, went to the hospital when they were 4 min. apart, and was told I was only 1.5 cm dilated -- I wasn’t in any rush this time.

Still, C. called my doctor, who told us to come in if I was in pain. “Remember how long it took them to get us into a room last time,” C. reminded me. True. And besides, we were scheduled to show up at the hospital in a few hours anyway for my induction.

We checked in around 12:45 a.m. It was all coming back to me now: how they leave you in the triage room FOREVER while your contractions get more and more painful. How the nurses dilly-dally around and ask you the same questions over and over while you’re gasping away, freezing in a backless gown. It was 3:15 a.m. before we were settled in a birthing suite and I got an epidural.

Fun fact: epidurals don’t work on me. Last time, I had a “pocket” where the anesthesia didn’t reach. Basically, half my body. Then it wore off totally at the end. This time, because of the position of the baby’s head, I was experiencing the dreaded “back labor.” The anesthesiologist said, “Did you know you have a little bit of scoliosis? That could be why it’s not working completely.” No. No, I did not know that. GOOD THING I’M JUST FINDING OUT NOW!!!

For a while, things were OK. I sucked on a popsicle, listened to my iPod, and breathed my way through the contractions, squeezing the hell out of my husband’s hand in the process. Then there was a period of sobbing and swearing. The anesthesiologist was called back in. A really nice guy, he looked at me with pity and said, “I’m so sorry, honey. I’ll do what I can, but these things aren’t always 100% effective.” Again, good to know … ONLY IT'S TOO DAMN LATE TO MATTER!!!

The blessing was that it didn’t take nearly as long for me to progress this time. I was 3.5 cm dilated when I got to the hospital. They broke my water, and soon I was 6 cm, then before I knew it, 10 cm. I was disappointed that my doctor was not on call and a male doctor was. No offense, but I don’t get it. Isn’t being a male ob/gyn like being a mechanic who’s never owned or driven a car? Anyway, this guy was nice enough, but a little nonchalant. Of course why wouldn’t he be since HE’S never given birth!! Fortunately, there was a female resident there, too, who was very helpful and encouraging.

Now, they tell me I only pushed for 7 min. Unlike last time, when it took 2 hours, a team of specialists, and a mountain of medical equipment to get the baby out.

However, I will tell you it felt like MUCH longer. They kept telling me to take a break, and I wanted to say, “Listen, if you were in the middle of getting a root canal, you wouldn’t stop and take a breather right when you got to the most painful part, would you?”

But the important thing is, I DID IT!! The baby came out and was handed to me right away. My beautiful baby boy! He wasn’t even squished and banged up and covered in meconium the way Miles was. He was perfect! I have never been so relieved in my life.

Baby Riley came into the world in just under 8 hours, weighing in at just under 8 lbs. Again, ON his due date, people! That’s my boy!

Stay tuned for Tales of a Big Brother, next time on Diary of a New Mom ...

READ O’ THE WEEK: Talk about perfect timing -- my contributor’s copy of A Cup of Comfort for New Mothers: Stories that celebrate the miracle of life arrived yesterday. I’m excited and honored to have my essay, “Taking Care,” included in this anthology! Available March 18 wherever books are sold. This would make a perfect Mother’s Day gift (hint, hint)!