A Treat and a Trick

You know what’s fun? Watching your 2-year-old run around the neighborhood dressed like a skunk because this year, he’s finally old enough to understand the point of Halloween. By the third house, Miles had gotten the idea. He and his friends would tear up the walk and pound on each door and/or ring the doorbell repeatedly in their excitement to yell “Trick or treat!” and collect their loot. And the look on people’s faces when they opened their doors to find a 3-foot tall furry skunk… Hilarious!

You know what’s not fun at all? Watching your 2-year-old like a hawk for 9 hours straight and not leaving the house once because you’re potty training him. Why would I start this onerous task on Halloween, you might ask? Because four consecutive days when school was out and we had no obligations seemed like the perfect block of time to attempt it. Right.

So there I was on Friday morning, making a big deal about Miles’ new “big boy underpants” and how he was now going to go on the potty instead of in a diaper. And for a few hours, this worked. In fact, Miles went to the potty approximately every 18 minutes. And every time he’d leak out a few drops, I’d reward him with a small treat and lavish praise. I think the kid was playing me.

By 5 p.m., I was totally frazzled and had serious cabin fever. While Miles had peed more than a frat boy at a keg party, #2 was elusive. Screw this, I thought. It’s Halloween. So I threw a Pull-Up on him and we headed out to trick-or-treat.

The next day, Dad was on duty. Thank GOD. However, being a little less "vigilant" than I (though he might use a different word), C. did not hover over Miles every second of the day, looking for “warning signs.” In fact, C. cavalierly left Miles downstairs alone while he went off to change his clothes. Well, what do you think happened? Exactly. 9 a.m., and we were already down one clean pair of Cars underwear.

The next day, the accidents happened more frequently. Despite -– or perhaps, because of –- my repeated urgings for Miles to sit on the potty, he responded like most toddlers: by refusing. Not good. “Don’t push or punish” is the mantra of all the potty training literature I’ve crammed into my overtaxed mommy brain.

Then today, Monday, was the worst so far. In a bad mood because Dad’s back at work, there’s no school due to a mysterious “professional day,” and both Miles and I are suffering sugar hangovers from eating our weight in Halloween candy, I lost my patience. I swear, the kid PURPOSELY did a number (both #1 and #2, to be exact) in his pants mere minutes after a successful potty session. WTF?!? Not the way I prefer to start my day. And that was only the first of several accidents, none of which seemed to remotely concern him.

So we’re back to square one. Maybe I don’t have the patience or stamina for potty training. Maybe Miles just isn’t ready. Maybe everyone should just bite me and pass the Reese’s peanut butter cups.

NEWS O’ THE WEEK: Studies show mom bloggers, 78% of whom review products and services on their blogs, are fueling conversations about products and brands on the Internet. Who knew? Oh, right: all of us mom bloggers!