You're a Good Mom. And You and You, Too

Among the moms I know, it’s common practice to make fun of yourself for being a bad mom. “That’s me -- Mom of the Year!” we might joke after sending our kid to school with their shirt on inside out. Baby has a diaper blowout and you forgot to pack a spare outfit? Bad Mommy!

I get it. It’s self-deprecating. It’s funny. Lord knows I’m guilty of it. (PROUD of it, even!) But do we really believe deep down that we’re not good mothers? I sometimes wonder.

So I’ve decided to highlight a few good moms I know. And there’s not a woman among them whose kids are always perfectly dressed and eat all their vegetables.

One mom I know is great about taking time for herself. A busy working mom with the same time and budget constraints as the rest of us, she’s not immune to guilt or blessed with live-in help. She simply recognizes that she’s a better mom when she takes time for herself and so she makes it happen, whether it’s a manicure or a weekend away with girlfriends.

Another mom I know is great about letting her kids get dirty. Even if she’s just bathed them, even if they’re wearing nice clothes, she will let them jump in puddles, dig in the mud, and eat cherry Popsicles. She lets her kids be kids. As someone whose heart clenches each time my child uncaps a marker (even if it’s washable), I really admire that.

Then there’s the woman who has rejected the notion of mom as cruise director. She engages with her kids, but she does not make herself responsible for their happiness. If she wants to read a book or do some gardening, she does. It’s up to her kids to find something to do on their own. And if they complain they’re bored, she lets them be bored. But you know what? They rarely are.

Lastly, props to the mom who gave me the idea for this post, E.M. She’s a devoted stay-at-home mom to 3 who knows exactly how hard this gig is. So she makes a point of telling her friends they’re good moms. (And dads, too. She’s an equal opportunity praise-giver.) If you explain the lengths you went to to put together the perfect Halloween costume or birthday party, she says, “You’re such a good mom.” If you notice your child has a boogie and wipe it away before he snurfs it back in, she says, “You’re a good mom.”

It’s nice to hear, but I don’t always need someone to tell me. I KNOW I’m a good mom. Even though I forget to sign up my kid for soccer and count sweet potato chips as a vegetable. I love my kids to death and they know it. And I’ll bet yours do, too.

READ O’ THE WEEK: My perennial fave, Alisa Bowman of Project Happily Ever After, on “9 Ways I’m a Normal Mom and Wife.”

Stain Removal's Not for Sissies

It’s no secret that motherhood is messy business. But there’s a whole other level of stains beyond spit-ups, diaper leaks, and spilled juice. Some moms (ahem, Kate Gosselin of “Jon & Kate Plus 8”) won’t let their kids near a frosted cupcake or felt-tip marker for fear of a day spent scrubbing out stains in the laundry room. Please. Frosting and markers are child’s play. How about some of these stains?

The Hot Seat. “How did the back of his shorts get all red?” C. asked one day, changing Miles into his PJs. Well, that’s what happens when a child takes red sidewalk chalk, scribbles all over the seat of his ride-on motorcycle, and then proceeds to ride it around the yard in his blue-and-white striped shorts. Duh.

Minty-Fresh Carpet. My friend T. was busy getting ready for work one morning when she noticed her 2-year-old son was being suspiciously quiet in the next room. With good reason – he was busy grinding toothpaste into the rug with the computer mouse.

Poo Slider. My SIL took her daughter to the park one morning, dressed in their Sunday best. After a tandem trip down the slide, my SIL noticed a funky odor coming off both of them. To her horror, she realized the slide was streaked with dog poo, probably from some kid’s shoe. Ewwww….

Coal Miner’s Son. Speaking of gross stuff at the park, I was attempting to finish the abs and stretching portion of Stroller Strides one day while distracting my son from the playground. “We’ll go AFTER Mommy’s done exercising, OK?” He agreed too readily; he’d just discovered an ashy pile of black crud beneath some charcoal grills. I’m STILL digging it out from under his nails.

The Glitterati. I suspect my (other) SIL is getting back at all those people who gave her kids inappropriate and/or messy gifts over the years. How else to explain why another mom would give your child a multicolored, glitter play sand kit? Every crevice of Miles’ body, shoes, and several toys were instantly encrusted with purple and orange glittery sand. “It’s non-toxic,” my SIL told me, as if THAT was my main concern!

I’m sure that’s only the beginning. We had a couple near-misses with a lipstick, and our new couch is just begging for a vat of cranberry juice to fall on it. Fortunately, diaper wipes have gotten out 90% of our stains to date. As for toothpaste in the carpet, I’m afraid you’re on your own.

TIP O’ THE WEEK: I love, love, LOVE my Magic Eraser. This thing is genius, I’m telling you. It gets smudges off walls and doors, crayon off refrigerators, and much, much more.