Babies Around the World

Ever since I saw the movie “Babies” a little while ago, I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s a short, wordless documentary about 4 babies growing up in different parts of the world, from birth to age 1. It’s visually stunning, and of course the babies are cute, but that’s not what struck me most.

Rather, it’s how differently babies are raised in other cultures. There’s Ponijao in Namibia, who rolls around in the dirt naked and has to put up with livestock drinking his bathwater. Then there’s Bayar, a little moon-faced boy in Mongolia whose mother births him with little fanfare and then hops on the back of a motorbike for the bumpy ride back to their yurt. The life of Mari in Tokyo isn’t drastically different from her counterpart Hattie’s in San Francisco, with their diapers and strollers and baby music classes.

But the scene that had the most impact for me was one with Hattie and her mother. The baby has become a toddler, with all the behaviors that go along with that—namely, fussing and swatting at her mother. So the mom—obviously an educated, upper-middle class woman in her 30’s, I’d say—does what many moms I know would do. She turns and takes a book off the shelf, titled “No Hitting.”

Isn’t that so AMERICAN? We can fix any parenting problem with the right book! Let’s consult 6 experts and then mirror correct behaviors for our offspring! Better yet, let’s take our baby to a child psychologist so we can understand the emotional causes of her hitting! Perhaps it’s because our peaceful, lute-accompanied water birth went awry and we needed a C-section?

OK, I’m mocking. But you have to admit it’s a little funny, especially in comparison to the mother in Africa who, when her children are fighting, distracts them with a wild dog or her own hair. The Mongolian baby is left alone constantly, either swaddled up to his eyeballs in yards of fabric or tied to a bed post. (Yes! He was literally tied to a bed post by his waist while his mother was outside tending the sheep or something. And he seemed perfectly happy.)

We American moms pour so much time and energy and angst into parenting. We debate the pros and cons of disposable vs. cloth diapers and when and how to potty train, while in the rest of the world babies are crawling around bare-bummed. The African mom, when her newborn poops, WIPES HIS BUTT ON HER KNEE and then scrapes it off with an old corn cob! No organic wipes, no wipe warmer, no Diaper Genie, no antibacterial soap. Can you imagine??

Now, I’m not going to chuck all our educational toys and books and diapers and let my baby crawl shoeless all over a rusty metal drum in the middle of a field of horned cattle. (Not that that makes the Mongolian woman a bad mom; let’s not be judgy.) But it is a good reminder that maybe we don’t need all the stuff we think we do to raise a child. Little Ponijao in Africa seemed pretty darn happy to me.

So, tell me, readers in America and around the world, what parenting differences do you notice where you live?

For the Real New Moms

I’d like to apologize. I’ve gotten a bunch of new readers lately and judging by their profiles, a number of them are, you guessed it, new moms or about to be. Probably lured in by my blog name or Twitter handle, @DiaryofaNewMom. And then they come here and find posts about preschool and writing classes and an 18 m.o.’s shenanigans. No breastfeeding tips or sleep-deprivation horror stories. No picks for the best stroller or baby food recipes.

I’m sorry about that. Really, I am. See, when I started this blog I was pregnant with my first child –- eons ago, it seems -– and I never DREAMED I would still be writing it all these years later. And yet, I’m too lazy to start over. And I’ve built up a nice little following. And I’ve got some really good stuff in my archives, I swear!

But I owe it to those real new moms among you to at least TRY to get back in touch with my roots. So here we go...

To be honest, my blog was pretty boring in the beginning. I only posted once a week and I didn’t know how to upload pictures. You can get the Cliff’s Notes version of my first 9 mos. in this Pregnancy Recap. (Bonus: includes photo of my 41-weeks-pregnant belly!) Link-hop to your heart’s content.

Then there is Birth Story #1 (aka, “When Hypnobirthing Goes Wrong”) and Birth Story #2 (aka, “When Epidurals Don’t Work, Part 2”).

You might be interested in my Top 5 Baby Buys. And also, Firsts for New Moms. And I’m not talking about first smile, first tooth, or first steps.

Also for your reading pleasure, there’s Confessions of a New Mom (I’ve since added several that are SO much worse than these), A Week in the Life of a New Mom, and It Gets Easier. (Except, of course, when it gets harder.)

And if you’re feeling like a bad mom and need a boost, there’s Baby’s First Chipped Tooth and Baby’s First Trip to the ER. But remember, that “perfect” mom with the “perfect” life? May not be what she seems. I promise you, someone out there is jealous of YOU.

Oh, OK. If you’re looking for sleep-deprivation horror stories, I’m happy to oblige -- Baby: 165, Mom: 0. Believe it or not, you really will sleep again. Someday.

Don’t forget to check out the Popular Posts tab for the inside scoop on pregnancy butt, milestones, losing the baby weight, and the ever-popular Saga of the Skinny Jeans. You know you wanna.

PRODUCTS O’ THE WEEK: I don’t do paid product reviews but I have no problem recommending stuff I like. IMO, Johnson’s makes the best nursing pads and Medela Quick Clean microwave steam-cleaning bags are a godsend for sterilizing pump parts, bottles, and pacifiers.

Oh, I almost forgot -- savvy reader B.R. tipped me off to the launch of Forever 21 Maternity. Let's set aside for a moment whether this is going to encourage a new generation of Bristol Palins and just enjoy the cheap, stylish maternity wear, shall we? I like H&M and Target for maternity clothes, too.

New Baby, New Stuff

Somehow I thought because this is our second baby and he’s also a boy, we’d have all the stuff we need already. I mean, it’s not like we had to go out and replace a pink stroller or anything. But instead, I’m finding that we’re buying or borrowing all the stuff we WISH we had the first time.

Case in point: by the time I decided I could’ve used a Bumbo seat for Miles, he was too old for it. So this time, I got one for Riley. Actually, I got him a like-new BebePod at a consignment store for 50%. Score!! It’s great because he was getting sick of the bouncy seat – swing – floor mat rotation. Now he can mix it up in the BebePod! And I love that it has a seat belt. This baby would hurl himself off any surface if given half a chance. Just today he nearly took a header off the changing table.

My brother and SIL lent us an Exersaucer they weren’t using. It even comes with a handy-dandy “moat.” Perfect timing, since Riley has decided he is no longer content to sit for long and must be “standing” on his own two feet at all times. Unless he’s doing log rolls and pushups on the floor, that is. I should’ve known by the way he practiced kung fu in utero that he would be an active guy. So much for Baby #2 being the mellow one. This baby’s apparently training for the Olympics. God help me if he starts walking at 10 mos. like his older brother.

You’d think all this activity would tucker the little fella out, wouldn’t you? And that he’d have been sleeping through the night for months now? Well, you’d be wrong. All the exercise seems to be stimulating his appetite because he still eats EVERY 3 HOURS. That’s right, EVERY 3 HOURS. It’s brutal, people. I’m up 3-4 times a night. That’s 4 consecutive MONTHS of interrupted sleep, not even counting the last several weeks of pregnancy, which were by no means restful. It’s amazing I can tie my shoes and string two sentences together.

Wondering if Riley’s outgrown his prolific puking? Again, that’s a big fat no. He regularly empties the contents of his stomach all over himself and anything within a two-foot radius. He goes through more bibs and burp cloths than diapers. I’m afraid the nickname “Spewie” might just stick for good. That’ll be a nice anecdote for the rehearsal dinner, huh?

The lesson here is, being a second-time mom does not give you a leg up in any way. New kid, new rules, new stuff. It’s like I’m a brand-new mom all over again. And I’ve got the under-eye circles to prove it.

TIP O’ THE WEEK: I needed a refresher on what age babies should be for certain apparatus:

BebePod/Bumbo seat: 3-12 mos.

Exersaucer: 4-12 mos.

Doorway jumper: 4 mos.-walking

Top 5 Baby Buys

Before I had my first baby, I registered for a wooden highchair. It was simple, tasteful. It didn’t require batteries and wasn’t decked out with fluorescent rainforest creatures. Well ... fast-forward a few months and I’d bought the biggest, gaudiest plastic highchair money could buy.

See, it turned out that the tasteful wooden highchair wasn’t practical at all. A friend pointed out that the seat cushion wasn’t machine washable, the tray wasn’t removable or dishwasher safe, and the height and incline couldn’t be adjusted. Also, it had no wheels. Of course, I had no clue I’d need these features. That’s why I was glad to have mom friends steer me in the right direction.

I’m often asked by expectant moms for my baby-gear recommendations. Here are my top 5 picks. For more, I highly recommend the book Baby Bargains basically a Consumer Reports-type guide to all things baby-related.

1. Graco Pack ‘n’ Play. It’s a bassinet, it’s a playpen, it’s a portable crib. In a pinch it can store toys and serve as a baby gate, blocking access to stairs and such. I don’t think it matters what model you get, but I will say that we use ALL the features on ours -- the changing table, the canopy, the vibrating thingy, the music, the light (bright enough for a midnight diaper change but not so bright it wakes the baby). I recommend springing for the extra-cushiony quilted crib sheet

2. Bouncy seat and/or swing. Again, it doesn’t really matter what kind. You just need a safe place besides the crib to put the baby when you want to take a shower or cook dinner. Babies like a change of pace, too. Sometimes my son’s fine in the bouncy seat and sometimes only the swing will soothe him. If space is limited, get a travel swing that folds up. And take my word: don’t be tempted to skimp on the bells and whistles. Babies LOVE that stuff! The more flashing lights, toys, and sounds, the better. We call our swing “baby Vegas.”

3. Baby Bjorn and/or sling. Consumer Reports pissed off a lot of parents when they named cosleepers and slings among the top 5 baby products not to buy. Sure, kids can get injured if they fall out of a sling. But hell, my older kid can hurt himself on a pillow! When used properly, slings and baby carriers are life-savers -- the only way to have your hands free while you keep your baby close.

4. Gymini Activity Gym This cloth play mat is lightweight, portable, washable, and folds up flat for easy storage. It’s for babies age 0-5 mos. or so. My kids loved this thing. So much so that on one vacation when an unfortunate roof-carrier incident caused me to lose mine somewhere on I-95, I scoured the local stores for another. This is one case where I actually do prefer the simple black, white & red version to the more elaborate ones.

5. Boppy. I know, I know, this one’s hardly a best-kept secret, but here’s why I love it: it’s not only a great (washable!) nursing pillow, but you can prop up the baby in it, say, on the bed or floor of the bathroom in a pinch. You can also lay them over the Boppy face-down for “tummy time” before they can really lift themselves up much. Then the baby can actually see something instead of having his face squashed into the floor. Plus it makes a nice neck pillow for mom or dad. I’m all about versatility, can you tell?

So there you have it, people, my top picks. I need a separate post for clothing and accessories. Until then, remember: practical, portable, and washable are key!! Now go forth and register!

CONGRATS O’ THE WEEK: To my cousin and his wife, who are expecting their first child, a boy! Woo hoo! And to my college friend, M.C., who’s expecting her first as well. Happy gestating, gals!

LINK O’ THE WEEK: Hummus is an expectant mom’s best friend. Find more healthy snacks on the Healthy Pregnancy Blog.