Me Talk Funny One Day

It’s kind of sad when your baby starts talking like a regular person. Gone are the days when Miles called pumpkins “cuppies” and claimed every animal says “Moo.” The other day I asked him if he’d like a snack and he said, “No, thank you. I’m good.” He’s TWO!! Who talks like that when they’re 2?!

Sure, the stuff that comes out of his mouth lately is hilarious, but not in the same way the baby talk was. I used to love that he called any body of water a “pool,” including the Atlantic Ocean. Or when he’d look up at me pitifully and croon, “Mooore?” like a starving orphan boy when he wanted more food. Now he says, “Can I have some more grapes, please, Mommy?” Nice manners, sure, but lacking the “awwww” factor, don’t you think?

Thank goodness he stills calls oatmeal “eatmeal.” Which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. And toothpaste is still “tootaste” or perhaps “to taste,” since he seems more interested in licking the Spongebob bubblegum-flavored toothpaste off the brush than in actually cleaning his teeth.

Now, along with saying just about anything he darn well pleases, my son has started instructing me in what to say. We’ll be playing and he’ll say, “You say ‘Yay, blocks!’ OK, Mommy?” I dutifully recite my line. Then we’ll be going for a walk, Miles running a block ahead as usual, and he’ll stop, turn around and tell me, “You say, ‘Wait for me! You too fast.’” God forbid I forget my lines!

He also talks to himself sometimes, which is pretty funny. Over the baby monitor or in the next room, I’ll hear him recite passages from a favorite book or nursery rhyme: “I want you to help me smash! I want you to help me crash!” (From the aptly titled, “Smash! Crash!” by Jon Scieszka.) Or, “How are you today, sir? Very well, I thank you. Run and hide, run and hide” from the nursery rhyme “Where is Thumbkin?”

Of course, I think pretty much everything my son does and says is smart and clever and adorable. We moms are annoying that way. But seriously, a toddler in Thomas pajamas saying, “No thanks, I’m good”? I can’t stand it.

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