Only a Dad...

Dads sometimes get a bad rap. There, I admitted it. Just because a dad has occasionally put a diaper on backwards, forgotten to change a kid’s clothes for 3 days, or unplugged an entire freezer full of breast milk to plug in his Shop-Vac (you know who you are!), doesn’t mean all dads are ignorant, bumbling, useless wastes of space.

I suppose they deserve more credit. (Grudging tone? Who, me?) My husband was actually the one who mastered the perfect swaddling technique when Miles was a newborn, and today he’s the only one who can get him out of the bathtub. When I’m on bath duty, Miles will slither around in the cold, empty tub playing with his rubber duckies for ages, even after every drop of water has been drained from it.

So in honor of Father’s Day, I’ve decided to give some dads I know their due. Here are some of my favorite dad memories:

• My dad’s not the most effusive guy. He’ll give you a hug if he hasn’t seen you in awhile, but he’s not big on “I love yous” or long, heart-to-heart phone chats. He’s often hidden behind a newspaper or computer screen. Still, he’ll surprise you every once in awhile. I visited my parents when I was about 7 mos. pregnant. I was feeling bulbous and bloated. I waddled into the kitchen one day and my dad was standing there with this funny grin on his face. “What?” I asked, paranoid that my maternity shirt had ridden up or something. “Nothing,” he said, “I just love the way you look.” Awww…

• My in-laws spend their summers on Cape Cod. The first time we visited them with the baby, then 3 mos. old, I was in new-mom hell. Besides trying to breastfeed in a crowd of relatives and worrying about my son’s cries piercing the thin walls of the cottage, I was having a hard time accepting my new situation. What the hell kind of vacation was it if I couldn’t do any of the things I’d normally do, like go the beach, bike, kayak, or even just sleep late?

One day my husband, in-laws, me, the baby, stroller, and our enormous diaper bag piled into the car for a day trip to a quaint little town nearby. I dashed into a couple shops while someone kept an eye on the stroller out front. We changed diapers in the back of the car. I stressed through lunch that the baby would start wailing at any moment. On the drive home, I was exhausted. My father-in-law smiled and said, “What a great day.” Now THAT’S a true family man.

• And of course I can’t leave out my favorite dad -- my hubby, C., aka Dad2Miles. It’s hard to pick just one memory, but if I had to I’d say it was the first time I ever left the baby. Miles was 10 mos. old, and I was going to a conference out of town. I’d have to be away for two whole nights. I made lists and piles and stacks of things C. would need and then barraged him verbally with additional instructions, JUST IN CASE.

Honestly, I wasn’t so afraid the baby wouldn’t survive. I was more nervous that when C. got a solid 48-hour taste of non-stop solo baby duty, he might run screaming for the hills, or at least the next flight to Vegas. Imagine my surprise when I got home and C. was not only still there and still sane, but announced that it was the best weekend of his life. Damn. Guess I underestimated the guy, huh?

Happy Father’s Day, dads! And don’t think this gives you a free pass out of diaper duty...

READ O’ THE WEEK: I’ve mentioned this book before, but I really loved it: Crawling: A Father's First Year. It defies all the stereotypes of the beer-swilling, couch-snoozing, Al Bundy-type dad.