Month 8: It Gets Easier

I’m an aunt! My brother and his wife welcomed baby Chloe over the weekend. My niece weighed in at a whopping 8 lbs., 4 oz. – bigger even than my little brute! Lucky for her, she looks like her mama. (Hee, hee…) I had the honor of being her first visitor.

When I stepped into that hospital room, my own experience came flooding back. (Believe it or not, 7 mos. ago feels like an ETERNITY.) Like me, my sister-in-law looked exhausted and a bit shell-shocked. Like C., my brother timidly changed the baby’s diaper as if he were disarming a bomb that might explode at any second. (Actually, Chloe sort of did during the diaper change. Good thing the nurse was assisting.)

“It gets easier,” I assured them, with all the wisdom of a person who’s been a mom for about as long as it's been since her last dental appointment. But does it really? I reflected on the ride home. I decided that, yes, some aspects of new parenthood do get easier, but others get harder. For instance:

EASIER: Sleep. As hard as it is to believe at first, you will eventually be able to sleep somewhat soundly while the baby is sleeping. You will no longer wake, quaking with fear, at every tiny snort or cough. You will not leap out of bed multiple times throughout the night for the thermometer or nose-suction thingie or phone to dial 911. In time, you will be able to sleep in another room, even on another floor. You will come to embrace the baby monitor as the ultimate freedom.

HARDER: Sleep. Your baby will stop spending 95% of her time sleeping. You will become consumed with getting her to sleep, keeping her asleep, and making sure she sleeps at the correct times.

EASIER: Breastfeeding. There will come a day when you don’t require 7 pillows, a special footstool, two pairs of hands, a reference book, and a cold beverage in order to nurse your baby.

HARDER: Breastfeeding. Your baby will become larger and more active. He may not tolerate having his head discreetly covered by a blanket, and may in fact rip off that blanket on a crowded airplane, causing you to flash your seatmates and two passing flight attendants. You will not care. You might even laugh.

EASIER: Changing diapers. Eventually, your baby will not wet and/or dirty 12-14 diapers and a half-dozen outfits each day. She may even be able to get through the whole night with one Overnite diaper. And you won’t have to execute those complex origami folds to accommodate the umbilical cord.

HARDER: Changing diapers. Once your baby starts eating solid foods, the urge to gag while changing a dirty diaper may become uncontrollable. Plus, the baby is no longer willing to lie placidly on his back for 10 seconds and will torque his small torso violently, knocking everything off the changing table in the process.

Hmmm. If the point of this exercise was to reassure the new parents, I’m not sure I accomplished that. So I’ll end on a positive note: it will get easier to accept that you’re responsible for this tiny, delicate creature you’ve brought into the world, and harder to imagine how you ever lived without her.

TIP O’ THE WEEK: Buy some of these plastic bags that will steam-clean your breast pump accessories, pacifiers, and bottles in the microwave in 3 minutes flat.