I have a guilty pleasure: I like to read trashy celebrity tabloids. I won’t deign to actually SUBSCRIBE to them, however, so I get my gossip fix at the gym. There’s no better feeling than walking up to the magazine rack and finding the brand-new People or Us Weekly or InTouch, its candy-colored headlines and boob-job photos crying out for my attention.
The other day the headline was: “Brad and Angie’s Nanny Tells All!” Who could pass THAT up? So I hopped on the treadmill, flipped to the page, and started to read. (You can get the highlights here.) Among the nanny’s SHOCKING allegations were -- are you ready?
- The kids (6 of them under age 9) fight and squabble.
- The older kids have potty mouths.
- The house is often chaotic and messy.
- Shiloh, the 4 y.o. tomboy, gets lots of bruises and scrapes.
- Knox, the 2 y.o. boy, has to be watched 24/7 or he’ll wander off and get into trouble.
- The parents are powerless to enforce “the simplest things, like making the kids sleep in their own beds.”
- Angelina once called Brad in tears, begging him to come home and help with the kids.
These astounding revelations left me with a single question: have the hard-hitting journalists who wrote this story ever actually MET a child before?
Even the more “insidious” claims, like that the kids drink wine, eat only junk food, and watch R-rated movies are questionable. Apparently Angelina let her 7 y.o. taste some wine. Shocker!! They live in Europe, people. And I’ve let my kids taste coffee and beer. (Well, “let” is the wrong word. I stood by as they grabbed my cup and took a swig. They learned their lesson, though.)
As for the junk food, well, people who live in cardboard Chick-fil-A houses shouldn’t cast stones, as they say. Really, the only thing that I found objectionable was the part about the R-rated movies. As I know from our “Toy Story 3” debacle with my 4 y.o., you never know what will traumatize a kid. Better stick to cartoons.
This story got me thinking. If I was a celebrity and one of our disgruntled household staffers wanted to tell all, what would they say?
- She lets her 4 y.o. wear only sweat pants and shorts. She’s unable to control his temper tantrums over collared shirts and corduroys.
- The kids regularly go to school with their underwear on backwards and oatmeal crusted on their face.
- She never, ever brushes her kids’ hair.
- The baby eats food off the floor.
- The parents are always fighting over whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher.
Are you shocked? Scandalized? Well, that’s not even the half of it, people. Good thing I’m not a celebrity, huh?
10/27/10
Celebrity Nanny Tells All! So?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
LOL! I have a sick fascination with Brad & Angelina, but I can't bear to encourage it by actually opening one of those magazines, so thank you SO much for telling me what was in it without my having to do it myself! LOL. Sometimes you really do have to feel bad for celebrities. What would the tabloids say about me? I shudder to imagine!!!!
And what would they say if they saw my 16 month old sucking on an empty beer bottle? I thought of that when I read your last post! What can I say, he's a boozer. Just kidding. And by the way, in that picture of Riley, I can see how he really looks like Miles! Seems like our recycling bins look similar, too.
Oh, geez. Celebrity gossip is my secret indulgence as well, but THE STAR, really? At least People and Us Magazine make a somewhat honest attempt to be factual. THE STAR? Funny, being such a bogus magazine and yet they couldn't "make up" anything more interesting?
My sister's kids would make for some interesting headlines:
"7-Y.O. GIRL MUST TAKE A WEE IN THE NUDE"
"MOM GETS SO FRUSTRATED SHE LOCKS HERSELF IN THE BATHROOM AND THROWS TOILET PAPER ROLLS AT THE WALL"
Angie, that actually IS a picture of Miles w/ his first split lip! And glad to know my baby's not the only boozer. Take pics! My brother had a photo of him as a toddler w/ a can of beer made into a poster for his 30th b-day party!
Kate, they ARE strangely fascinating, aren't they?
Ali, I know, Star is even beneath ME, but it was the only cover I could find! I will only read that if it's the last mag on the rack. ;)
Backwards underwear? Oatmeal-crusted face? Eating stuff off floor? When did you stop by MY house to take notes on how we do things? :)
Thanks for sharing the Brangelina gossip; I'm addicted but only see those mags at the gym, to which I haven't gone much lately.
Very Funny! If they are bad parents based on this evidence I don't have chance!
Post a Comment