Ready, Set, Run Errands!

I don’t know about you, but I can be in and out of the supermarket, pharmacy, and liquor store in under an hour and usually still have time to get gas. IF I don’t have my kids with me, that is. Everybody knows that with a kid or 2 in tow, your time-to-errands ratio goes WAY down. You’re lucky if you can get through Trader Joe’s in an afternoon.

I was reminded of this today when I attempted 2 seemingly simple errands with both kids.

First, our departure was delayed because the baby refused to take his morning nap. After one failed attempt, I gave up and got everyone bundled up to go out. First stop: Staples. I had to make some copies and purchase some packing materials. On the way there (5 min. from my house) Miles announces he’s hungry. I fish a couple semi-stale peanut butter crackers out of the diaper bag and hand them over.

We park, I hoist everyone out of the car, and we trudge into the store. There’s a line for the copiers, which I stand in while holding Riley, who is getting heavier by the minute. It’s as if someone swapped his diaper with a bag of sand. Miles grabs some scissors and markers off a display stand and goes running off with them. I wait and wait and wait some more. Until I realize I’m in the wrong line. Back to square one.

By the time I’ve made my copies and paid, my biceps are burning from carrying my leaden tot and Miles has coerced me into buying him candy by putting his sticky mitts all over it before I realized what he was doing. Riley has lost a shoe, so we retrace our steps throughout the store and parking lot before finding the errant shoe in his carseat.

Second stop: post office. A couple weeks before Christmas, we’re asking for trouble, but I have no choice if I want my packages to get there in time. As we swing into the parking lot, I see a line out the door. Abort, abort! We’ll never make it out alive and home in time for lunch. I make a U-turn and head for another branch a little farther away.

We park, I hoist everyone out of the car, and we trudge into the post office. But not before checking that the baby has both shoes. There’s a line, of course. I keep Miles busy by letting him drop the Christmas cards in the mail slot 5 at a time. He’s done in no time, and begins to amuse himself by pulling his shirt over his head. My arms are growing weaker. Seriously, how much does this baby WEIGH? Did the hat and mittens add an extra 10 lbs?

Next stop: the gym. Before the carseats are even buckled I know it’s not going to happen. The baby’s whining and rubbing his eyes; Miles is complaining he’s still hungry. It’s not worth it. Besides, I’ve already done my arm workout for the day.

We desperately need groceries, since the only thing in the house resembling baby food is an aging sweet potato in the bottom of the pantry. And the craft store’s calling, since we ran out of garland halfway through decorating the Christmas tree. But I’m no dummy. I know enough to quit while I’m ahead.

Besides, on a day when the boys are at school and the sitter, I can breeze through every store in the mall and STILL have time for a cup of coffee on the way to pick-up. Just time me and see.

NEWS O’ THE WEEK: I learned from one of my Twitter friends that many Target stores are starting to stock fresh food. I’ve long thought they were the cheapest place to buy all sorts of groceries, including organic stuff and baby food, so I’m super-psyched about this.