Month 12: The Neighbors

A couple lives next door to us. They’re maybe in their early 40s, married, no kids. Our kitchen window looks out onto their back porch, so I often see them as I’m going about my day.

In the morning, I’ll be rushing around making coffee and slicing bananas like a short-order cook for my one impatient customer banging on his high chair tray. Meanwhile, the neighbors will be sipping coffee and reading the paper on their porch. All calm and peaceful, with a cat or two lounging nearby.

As I’m cleaning up the crushed Cheerios and the dog’s spilled water bowl, the neighbors go off to work. Sometimes one of them remains on the porch reading, or goes out into the garden to prune or water something. I guess that’s what people do in gardens if they’re not pulling a small person out of the dirt or keeping him from eating the flowers.

Occasionally, one of them comes home for lunch. While I’m nuking chicken nuggets and cutting up broccoli, they’ll make themselves a nice sandwich on a real plate. I don’t actually sit down to eat, because I’m busy preparing Miles’ next course, refilling his sippy cup, replacing the spoon he’s flung on the floor, and loading the dishwasher. The neighbors read some more. I barely scan the newspaper headlines and the gossip page.

In the early evening, when Miles is ripping up handfuls of the front lawn and I’m eagerly watching the street for C.’s car, the neighbors come home from work. They wave, I smile. I have no hands free to wave, as I am prying a stick out of my son’s mouth. The retrieve their mail from the mailbox, and I remember I forgot to mail those bills due last week.

They continue their leisurely pattern of sitting, sipping, reading, and relaxing throughout dinnertime, bathtime, and bedtime at our house. As C. and I are falling asleep in front of the TV, the neighbors are welcoming their dinner guests. They sit on the porch and discuss culture and politics and current events while I make a mental list of groceries we’re out of and wonder whether the car has enough gas to get to the store.

You might think I envy our childless neighbors, but I don’t. Oh, sure, it would be nice to sip a beverage without worrying that Miles will grab it and pour it onto the furniture. I do miss reading stuff other than the ingredients on baby food containers. But I hate cats. And gardening. And the 9 to 5 grind. And silent, solo lunches. (Though once in a while might be nice.)

I have a theory that the neighbors peek into our windows sometimes. They see Miles shrieking with glee as the dog licks banana off his fingers. They see our post-nap snuggle. They hear us crank up Gwen Stefani for a baby dance party in the living room. They witness our family hug in the kitchen -- the dog included -- when C. comes home from work. And they are a tiny bit wistful for the life they might have had.

TIP O’ THE WEEK: Instead of spoon-feeding your baby, let him feed himself whenever possible. It makes more of a mess, but keeps him busy longer. Foods like Cheerios and cubes of avocado, banana, or cheese are easy to eat and hard to choke on.